Me and my stupid wrist

What some of you may not know is why I moved away from the greatest city on earth. I did it in that ole Tommy Petty vein, ya know, running down a dream...that would never come to me. So, I've been here for almost 2 months now, and I've been working as much as I can. Stashing the monies I make, paying off some things I let go to the way side my last days up in the CHI, and overall slowly losing my mind.

Then, this past monday came along, and man!!! was I not ready for it. First I wake, shower, hop on my sweet sweet wheels, peddle to this bowling alley and get ready to take a liquor certification class. I bring banana's because Moses would approve and as I settle in my chair mayhem insues. It would seem my boss is once again not prepared, he doesn't have enough books for people, and since I'm the newest I hold least priority. I get booted out of the class, leave the nanners, and find myself peddling back home. O.k. no big deal and I spend the afternoon with my Step Sister watching "Slum Dog Millionare"...(It was WRITTEN)...

*RING RING RING!!!*

I say

"hello?"

This nerdy stuffy voice that belongs to a douche pond says

"Hi this is an attempt to collect a debt, fuck you in the ass, break your spirit, and possibly jar you from the path you are on...all in the HOPES that you will cry at night, curl up into a little ball, and sink into an inky black shroud of sorrow...alone...nevermore...mwwwuuuahahhaa"

The jist of the call is...

I owe 7,500 dollars to Uncle Sam and he'd like his money...NOW!

How this all started was...

...A few years ago, I transfered into the USAF Guard, from the USAF Active, and thought I was about to be a dad. So, they asked me if I'd like to enlist for two extra years and get a fat bonus. And I'm all like, HECK YES!!!, I need the job stability because I'm bringing a child into this world, and like Jax Sheppard once said "I LIKE MONEY". So I sign...CHOICE...and begin my time in the guard. To put it quickly, there was some nasty shit going down in that unit, illegal things, and then to boot...well...I don't wanna get into the details but lets just say...I wasn't the father. Sooooo, I make a sly move one day at drill...I tell them I'm unhappy and want out. Plus I inform them of all the illegal things they are doing and how I don't want to make a big deal about them. I'm scooted out the back door and I'm extremely happy.

About a year later I get a call from someone saying I needed to pay back my bonus (about 3,200 dollars). I'm near broke, about to lose my apartment, and really just stressed in general when it comes to life. So I tell this to the case worker, then also add the above about the unfit working conditions, and how I know people who haven't had to pay their bonuses back in the past. He says will look into this and get back to you. My life takes a dark turn, probably the darkest ever, and I lost track of all this.

Then I get the call this past monday, a lot more money has been added to it, and there is no options for me. I have to get on a payment plan immediately and this doucher on the phone starts raping me for information. I can feel it, that sinking feeling, and I start to wonder why I'm such an ass basket. I just spent the past two years digging my way out of 4k worth of debt. Did that, moved to my fathers to stash cash and not more then 2 months in I seem to have created an even larger moutain to climb.

I start to patronize my goverment assailent (no spell check on this puter sorry(yeah its that bad)). He then starts saying things really slow and I can feel my cell phone bill increasing. I cut him short, start to well up with a rage I haven't felt since my teenage days, and I'm always overwhelmed with hopelessness. That's about the time my father walks in with a "how's your day going" My face says it all and we chat about solutions...he mostly says, pay it and be done. At least look at the bright side, you have a roof over your head, food, something something...i start to drift off and watch all those little fairytales I'd been telling myself begin to vanish. I can't dwell to long because I have to go into work...again...today.

I peddle to the Bdubs, hop on the floor, and everyone in the restraunt can tell internally I'm a wreck. I think everyone everywhere can usually tell when I'm having a bad day. SORRY! on the sleeve is how I beez and that's my steez. We are so slow, the thing nagging me outside of the 7 grand debt that just fell out of the sky, is that I want to watch the Bears game with my dad, and instead am standing round making no money. I think, maybe an hour at the most goes by, and they send me home. I race back for the second time...

Home these days...

...So much warmth, there is some tip toeing that I've never before been use to but I adapt to all things with lighting like quickness. I get some pep talks, piss n moan my way to kickoff, and silently plot the destruction of Brett Farve. My step mother hands me some mail and there is a package from my great friend Izzy. Recently she has likend my life to a famous british comedian whose story is one of many adversities. All day I'd been thinking about how this was probably a good sign that I need to start thinking a bit more rational. Possibly cut my plan a year short and find that solid 9 to 5 grind. Then I open up the package and see it's that comedians life story via DVD..."Believe" the eddy izzard story. I connect with my friend via phone, tell her the news, thank her for the syncronatic blessing, and she instantly starts spit firing ideas on how to take down the man. She's a rebel, an activist, and a socialite...I love her, with all my might. The game is getting ready to start, her and Mr. Chicago must scream wildly at the flickering box and my family will do the same. So we click off and I head down to watch the pre game with my pops. WHAT A GAME!!! Records broken by the Windy City Flyer and Brett Farve gets intercepted and then soon after knocked the fuck out. From there the humiliation continues and the Bears clinch their division for the first time since that year the Colts got real lucky we still had a shitty offensive coordinator...SCREW YOU RON TURNER!!!

I go to bed, with a crooked grin, I don't like laughing at others misfortunes but it's cold inside my head. So I sleep, dreams to warm the soul, and re-route the path I'd plan to know. I wake up and there is an email from a near by pizza place I've been trying to get a job at...they want me to come in for an interview on Thursday. I look at the piece of paper I'm suppose to type to this blood sucking company and decide...fuck it...I'm going to seek out some knowledge. Possibly seek legal advice but eitherway...get the cheese eating nerf herder to call me back and ask why I haven't sent the email over yet.

Tuesday was a lot of good but a project i was working on collapsed on me towards the final stages. It was suppose to be a great present for an artist buddy of mine who helped me bring dreams to reality this past year. FAIL!!! for a lot of reasons but mostly because I'm clacking away on a Toshiba from six years back. The anger of monday is welling up in me again and I take action. NO! I don't punch things, I grab headphones, my camera, and I take to the streets. DANCE MANIA!!! hahhaha! I know, lame, but what the hell else am I suppose to do. I feel like I'm losing control over everything around me and I'm not a guy who needs a lot of control to feel comfortable. However, the beginning of this week has me wincing at the thought of sunrises, and hoping I can find myself on the better side of Christmas STAT!

I come in from my night time galavanting, watch some breaking bad, and pass out into my newly found lucid world. Community colleges, never ending hand rails, and re-occuring child hood homes...I wake up and shuffle around the house. I have things to do but I'm still feeling a little less then peppy. My little sister makes me lunch...ADORABLE!!!...she even made us smoothies :D and then after a few hours of me doing the things that needed to get done I get a call from the Bdubs.

"Do you want to pick up a shift tonight?"

They are in short supply these days and am I all like "Hell to the yesUh!"

Peddle peddle, "I will posses your heart", peddle and I'm slinging wings. A few table in and this women leaves me a 50 dollar tip on a 20 dollar bill.............................................................................

...................................................................flooooooored!

I know it's not going to be easy and yes once again my master plan will take some re-structuring, but the will is there and ya know what the WHY is there as well. So I just have to relax, breath, and allow the HOW to present its self to me in time.

....Maybe I should have but maybe I shouldn't of....Bought my tickets to ULTRA this year! :D I'm getting nothing for Christmas besides that...gota take care of yourself sometimes :D

HAPPY HOLIDAYS YO!!!