Greetings!!!

Greetings!!!

Fren's

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I probably should have just kept walking away

The whole day was filled with fantastical awsomeness. I met with my great friend Nereida and we got massages from my homey Kevins school. It was the last day of their practicals and we got to be little rub down Ginny pigs. It was soooo relaxing and the first time I've ever had someone with trained hands massage me. I told her what areas are aching the most and what from. With that knowledge this women went on a half hour mission to heal my body. I've toyed with the notion of becoming a massage therapist for sometime now. People tell me I give great massages and have a wonderful touch. After watching my friend go through this course the past year and experiencing what I did yesterday, I'm pretty much sold. However that will come a bit later on down the road and once I return home.

After massages we get munchkins, we asked for 25, but Nene swears they gave us more. So we give some to a man jingling round change in a cup. Hop on the red line and cruise towards "strange cargo" to make a funny shirt for a funny man. We chat about a lot of things, she has amazing ears, and is extremely empathetic. I enjoy our talks because she doesn't judge but is always extremely firm with the advice she gives. At the store, all decisions come rather quickly and the shirt is made in less then 1/2 an hour. I'm extremely pleased with how it turned out and can't wait to award it to my comrade in liquids this Friday.

We head out the store and cruise over to Leona's...it's one of my favorite eateries in the Chicago land area. The portions are MASSIVE with so many options, the service is impeccable, they always have great music videos playing on flat screens, and I usually find myself dinning with great company. We both get chicken parmigiana but cooked different ways and neither one of us finish everything that is put in our place. I do my best to remain calm when the bill comes and allow my friend to pick up the tab. :D It feels nice to have someone pay for something but still not how I roll.

We hop on the belmont bus, I'm going back to Hq, she's riding it to Cicero I believe, and we chat some more. I learn about the ABC date, which is so clever it makes me extremely excited to share it with someone sometime soon...ask her for more details :D I hop off the bus and begin walking to Hq.

I work on the brochure for the conference with Randy and inform flowzel about a possible business adventure. Him and I head out to the green dolphin to meet up with some amazing dancers. I've been coming to this night since I was 21, when I was away in the military I'd always stop by when I was on leave, and as soon as I moved back to the Chi I began becoming a regular again. However, over the past two years I've lost touch, mostly for personal reasons. The results of losing touch though, will be this amazing event I'm hosting this up coming week, and that sort of vaporizes the little sadness I have about missing Monday nights.

I heard him name dropping a friend of mine at the door, he was built like a house, and looked like he came straight out of "the shore". I paid him no mind at the time because I came to GD with a specific plan. Say good-bye to some amazing dancers and hopefully impress a few of them with all my hard work I've put in this past year. So the night wages on and around midnight we have a nice little dance circle going on. However, Mr. Shore (that's what I'll call him) keeps getting in peoples faces, talking large amounts of shit and at one point blowing on my neck? Needless to say I'm extremely confused and cautious. Then he starts an actual fight with one of the B-boys and it gets dismantled. He then comes back by me and starts jawing. I attempt to explain to him a few things...

"This has long been a meet up for Chicago dancers, we usually take to a corner, do our thing, and have a good time. We make a circle and take turns because having all of us spread about the club doing this individually would be no fun for anyone. If you want to join us, feel free, but just know that we all play nice; take turns and such."

He blows up at me, starts telling me about all the people he knows in L.A. and what he's done for Chicago. I definitely try to object and let him know that no one here cares about that. We all pretty much just come to get down, show, prove, and learn. He starts in about my age and how I know nothing about what "this" is all about. It's my turn in the cypher so I hop in and do my thing. There is this extremely cute girl that I've been flirting with this evening. I make her my prime target and get her to smile pretty big. Plus I get some whoops and hollers from some of my friends in motion.

I catch my breath and position my self on the other side of the circle far from the time bomb. However, he makes his way over to me, and starts talking about how my moves are 20 years to old. I give him the yeah yeah, go ahead, do better bit and once again he begins cutting me down to size. I attempt to walk away to the other side again and he goes to follow, I feel safer next to my homey Scott and head back over there.
This is where it gets ugly and I believe where the personal lesson is for me. He says this bit about...
"I could get any fucking chick in this place."
I think, o.k. random...and then say
"Well, you should do that, and stop fliriting with me because it's getting embarrasing."
A quick flare of the nostrils and he comes back with..
"You wouldn't know what to do with my 9inchs."
This brings about a soft laugh and I say...
"I'm not worried about your nine inches, I'm more concerned about the teeth marks your going to leave on my cock when I'm face fucking you."
The temperature next to me increases by a couple degrees and he goes ape shit.
"YO! I got my fucking gun in the car, I'll smoke you, etc etc...big gangster talk that was as real as his tan"
So completely wrapped up in the moment I turn, push my face into his and say...
"Seriously, A man dies when it's his fucking time to die, and just because your twice my size doesn't mean that you can sit here and fucking bully me all night."
Then...it all happens extremely fast.
I'm up off the ground by my throat with this coked out (it's the only way I can make sense of his behavior) ogre raising his other hand to smash my face. Within, hmmm, 1.3 seconds, Scott leaps in and puts the bahemoth into a choke hold. This is extremely startling to everyone involved especially the guy getting choked out. Once I'm free I break the fuck out and starting looking for the security that should have been handling this thing from the start. One of them hurries over and starts to order Scott to let him go. Everyone around the altercation is saying "NO" the dude is jacked and at this point contained, but the security guard persists and Scott not wanting to get in trouble.......let's him go.
Once released, from like two days back this asshole throws a MASSIVE haymaker and Mr.Distortion (thats Scott) ducks it with grace and ease. Then comes a couple more punches which are blocked but this dude looks like a stuck bull that is only seeing red. After a few more seconds of thrashing about he's wrestled to the ground by 4 security guards and then thrown out. Since Scott threw no punches and there were more then enough witnesses to the entire thing he got to stay.
I on the other hand, was riding an insane amount of emotions, and did my best to carry on with the night. I felt terrible that my friend got involved and protected me. He could have been extremely hurt and I definitely would have had a hard time living that down. I'm wondering, why the fuck that guy wouldn't leave me alone, and why the fuck after his first fight he decided to make me his next target. Most importantly though at 28 I'm wondering why I didn't just fucking walk away. I make some jokes here and there, do my best to sort of cut the tension and attempt to get down with some peeps. However, there is this unsettling dissapointment in me, and I guess at the universe. In those situations, that sort of person wins, he's bigger, and clearly crazier. I'm looking for justice in an unbalance altercation.
The positive...well...maybe it's not a positive, but it's clearly hilarious. My friend Scott gave an extremely nerdy dance a lot of street cred that night :D Part of me though wished he would have just let the chips fall, since there were no other guys involved, just me and that ass clown. I've taken more then a few ass whoopings in my time but man...prolly would have needed much more then a few stiches.
Scott if you read this...THANK YOU!!! It gave me a lot to reflect upon and definitely strengthend our bond as friends. It's funny you know, that crazyness happened two days prior at smart bar, and then that. Conflict was bubbling and we both rose to the occasion when it was our turn. I got your back sir and thanks for having mine.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Before I lay me down to sleep...

I write these words for my brain to keep...

I'm getting ready to blast off!

So much time, hard work, and love has been put into this up coming event. I've seen the best and worst sides of me; especially these past few months, and I can't say I'd change a thing. So many people helped, with a few hurt along the way, but all if it truly done for the love.

I'll spend my few remaining weeks here, making emends, strengthening the most important friendships, patching up broken hearts, and soaking the lovely Chicago city with my liquids. I don't claim to be much these days, I've been really doing my best to not make those little promises to myself, the ones that drive me into fits when I fall short, and I'm starting to feel way more then alright.

Someone recently asked me...
"Do you think you'll fall again?"
They were talking about "love" and it's really funny because the place I live in (Broasis Laboratories) comes with a real special gift. All the previous occupants that have lived in this basement have found true love. DEEP LOVE!!! Life changing!!! When my relationship snapped and went way south I felt like a failure. I came back to this place and was so confused, not because I'm superstitious but because part of me wants that feeling so bad. Then as the depression washed away, as I started to pick myself up and realize exactly where I belong I came to a startling conclusion...

...I have found it. That rising feeling that chokes you out, sometimes pinching your eyes with the happiest of tears, and makes your insides feel like a balloon. I definitely found it and made it official...
...LIQUID I LOVE YOU!!!

She's my one and only...well...I do cut rugs in many ways but never have I felt freer. Never have I known it to be so feverishly found in forever. So as these next few weeks wager on and I come closer to completing my objective a large thanks goes to all those that saw this LOVE before me and helped fan the flames. This has been an amazing ride and I can't wait to see where it lets off.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

What it means to be Fluid...

So recently I was told that I'm not fluid...and this irritated me a great deal. Then a few days after I was chilling with some extremely fluid friends and brought it up. One of them said...

"ya know, thats a really good question, and one that would have a deep answer."

So...a few days later I sit in front of these keys and hope to bring some personal insight to what it actually means to be "fluid"

I relate fluidity to water...but I think this is to simple it's what first springs to mind. I think being fluid is being unstoppable, persistent, and adapting to all things.

I flow, when I write, when I dance, when I speak, and as I live. Life has a natural current, it carries us along if we will let it, and yes there are rocks. Jagged little reminders that the body isn't made to be TIMELESS (see blue scholars). Still though, with those knicks and bruises we develop character. Most every time in my life that I've fought the current and didn't flow freely i've suffered the most.

Been going about this life, in this vessel for 28 years, and I'm as hard headed as they come. Still I gain comfort in overcoming my weakness and surrendering to the natural pull of life.

I think the person was speaking about my dance...saying, "It wasn't fluid". I sure am glad that he said that because it's sparked a great wonder in my brain and has me picking that word apart from many angles.

Maybe I need to drink more water...?
Practice my paths more...?
Or just go with the ole flow, keep doing what I've been doing, and see how the end result rewards me. Because no matter what I'm extremely happy in my dance and with my dance.

Happy doesn't = Content

I'll continue to push the limits, learn new concepts and practice harder then most I know.

To me what it means to be fluid...
...To be free in motion

And I feel freest when I dance the little dances I dance best :)