Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I probably should have just kept walking away

The whole day was filled with fantastical awsomeness. I met with my great friend Nereida and we got massages from my homey Kevins school. It was the last day of their practicals and we got to be little rub down Ginny pigs. It was soooo relaxing and the first time I've ever had someone with trained hands massage me. I told her what areas are aching the most and what from. With that knowledge this women went on a half hour mission to heal my body. I've toyed with the notion of becoming a massage therapist for sometime now. People tell me I give great massages and have a wonderful touch. After watching my friend go through this course the past year and experiencing what I did yesterday, I'm pretty much sold. However that will come a bit later on down the road and once I return home.

After massages we get munchkins, we asked for 25, but Nene swears they gave us more. So we give some to a man jingling round change in a cup. Hop on the red line and cruise towards "strange cargo" to make a funny shirt for a funny man. We chat about a lot of things, she has amazing ears, and is extremely empathetic. I enjoy our talks because she doesn't judge but is always extremely firm with the advice she gives. At the store, all decisions come rather quickly and the shirt is made in less then 1/2 an hour. I'm extremely pleased with how it turned out and can't wait to award it to my comrade in liquids this Friday.

We head out the store and cruise over to Leona''s one of my favorite eateries in the Chicago land area. The portions are MASSIVE with so many options, the service is impeccable, they always have great music videos playing on flat screens, and I usually find myself dinning with great company. We both get chicken parmigiana but cooked different ways and neither one of us finish everything that is put in our place. I do my best to remain calm when the bill comes and allow my friend to pick up the tab. :D It feels nice to have someone pay for something but still not how I roll.

We hop on the belmont bus, I'm going back to Hq, she's riding it to Cicero I believe, and we chat some more. I learn about the ABC date, which is so clever it makes me extremely excited to share it with someone sometime soon...ask her for more details :D I hop off the bus and begin walking to Hq.

I work on the brochure for the conference with Randy and inform flowzel about a possible business adventure. Him and I head out to the green dolphin to meet up with some amazing dancers. I've been coming to this night since I was 21, when I was away in the military I'd always stop by when I was on leave, and as soon as I moved back to the Chi I began becoming a regular again. However, over the past two years I've lost touch, mostly for personal reasons. The results of losing touch though, will be this amazing event I'm hosting this up coming week, and that sort of vaporizes the little sadness I have about missing Monday nights.

I heard him name dropping a friend of mine at the door, he was built like a house, and looked like he came straight out of "the shore". I paid him no mind at the time because I came to GD with a specific plan. Say good-bye to some amazing dancers and hopefully impress a few of them with all my hard work I've put in this past year. So the night wages on and around midnight we have a nice little dance circle going on. However, Mr. Shore (that's what I'll call him) keeps getting in peoples faces, talking large amounts of shit and at one point blowing on my neck? Needless to say I'm extremely confused and cautious. Then he starts an actual fight with one of the B-boys and it gets dismantled. He then comes back by me and starts jawing. I attempt to explain to him a few things...

"This has long been a meet up for Chicago dancers, we usually take to a corner, do our thing, and have a good time. We make a circle and take turns because having all of us spread about the club doing this individually would be no fun for anyone. If you want to join us, feel free, but just know that we all play nice; take turns and such."

He blows up at me, starts telling me about all the people he knows in L.A. and what he's done for Chicago. I definitely try to object and let him know that no one here cares about that. We all pretty much just come to get down, show, prove, and learn. He starts in about my age and how I know nothing about what "this" is all about. It's my turn in the cypher so I hop in and do my thing. There is this extremely cute girl that I've been flirting with this evening. I make her my prime target and get her to smile pretty big. Plus I get some whoops and hollers from some of my friends in motion.

I catch my breath and position my self on the other side of the circle far from the time bomb. However, he makes his way over to me, and starts talking about how my moves are 20 years to old. I give him the yeah yeah, go ahead, do better bit and once again he begins cutting me down to size. I attempt to walk away to the other side again and he goes to follow, I feel safer next to my homey Scott and head back over there.
This is where it gets ugly and I believe where the personal lesson is for me. He says this bit about...
"I could get any fucking chick in this place."
I think, o.k. random...and then say
"Well, you should do that, and stop fliriting with me because it's getting embarrasing."
A quick flare of the nostrils and he comes back with..
"You wouldn't know what to do with my 9inchs."
This brings about a soft laugh and I say...
"I'm not worried about your nine inches, I'm more concerned about the teeth marks your going to leave on my cock when I'm face fucking you."
The temperature next to me increases by a couple degrees and he goes ape shit.
"YO! I got my fucking gun in the car, I'll smoke you, etc etc...big gangster talk that was as real as his tan"
So completely wrapped up in the moment I turn, push my face into his and say...
"Seriously, A man dies when it's his fucking time to die, and just because your twice my size doesn't mean that you can sit here and fucking bully me all night." all happens extremely fast.
I'm up off the ground by my throat with this coked out (it's the only way I can make sense of his behavior) ogre raising his other hand to smash my face. Within, hmmm, 1.3 seconds, Scott leaps in and puts the bahemoth into a choke hold. This is extremely startling to everyone involved especially the guy getting choked out. Once I'm free I break the fuck out and starting looking for the security that should have been handling this thing from the start. One of them hurries over and starts to order Scott to let him go. Everyone around the altercation is saying "NO" the dude is jacked and at this point contained, but the security guard persists and Scott not wanting to get in trouble.......let's him go.
Once released, from like two days back this asshole throws a MASSIVE haymaker and Mr.Distortion (thats Scott) ducks it with grace and ease. Then comes a couple more punches which are blocked but this dude looks like a stuck bull that is only seeing red. After a few more seconds of thrashing about he's wrestled to the ground by 4 security guards and then thrown out. Since Scott threw no punches and there were more then enough witnesses to the entire thing he got to stay.
I on the other hand, was riding an insane amount of emotions, and did my best to carry on with the night. I felt terrible that my friend got involved and protected me. He could have been extremely hurt and I definitely would have had a hard time living that down. I'm wondering, why the fuck that guy wouldn't leave me alone, and why the fuck after his first fight he decided to make me his next target. Most importantly though at 28 I'm wondering why I didn't just fucking walk away. I make some jokes here and there, do my best to sort of cut the tension and attempt to get down with some peeps. However, there is this unsettling dissapointment in me, and I guess at the universe. In those situations, that sort of person wins, he's bigger, and clearly crazier. I'm looking for justice in an unbalance altercation.
The positive...well...maybe it's not a positive, but it's clearly hilarious. My friend Scott gave an extremely nerdy dance a lot of street cred that night :D Part of me though wished he would have just let the chips fall, since there were no other guys involved, just me and that ass clown. I've taken more then a few ass whoopings in my time but man...prolly would have needed much more then a few stiches.
Scott if you read this...THANK YOU!!! It gave me a lot to reflect upon and definitely strengthend our bond as friends. It's funny you know, that crazyness happened two days prior at smart bar, and then that. Conflict was bubbling and we both rose to the occasion when it was our turn. I got your back sir and thanks for having mine.

Friday, October 15, 2010

"Grow a Pair"


I woke, packed, rattled my silver beauty to the lombard train station, and waited for that rail guided people mover. Chatted with Mr. Bassphreek post job interview and noticed a change in the air. Things have greatly picked up speed in many lives these past few months. It's nice to hear those success and share in the laughs. So I hop on my tube and bust out my book. Seems like all to soon that I'm lugging my equipment out of the train station and making my way towards Michigan ave.

During my walk I get a text from my buddy Vlad informing me that there is an awesome Taco Salad special going on for lunch. I still owe him lunch and don't know that there will be another chance like this to repay him. So we meet up and I'm happily surprised with the dankness of my salad. A few spicy pockets I push through but over all SOOOO good! Not as good as our conversations, He's recently returned from a purging, spent some time in Florida with his family, and found a calming to the madness in his mind. It gives me great hopes to know that I'll be doing something similar in the coming weeks. We talk about the upcoming conference and who he's excited to meet. I spill some of my tension out onto the tables, hope meets reality, and taco salad crumbs.

After an hour or so we part ways and I continue east towards Michigan. I stop short of my usual corner because there is a farmers market and I see a nice spot to start the days work. It was a smart choice, I scoop up some loot, and some smiles early in the day before moving onto where I like to normally do my thing.

For the past three months I've been trying out a variety of spots and within this past month I finally settled on one. I really enjoy setting up on the corner of Milwaukee and Michigan. I set the bitch up there most Thursdays and have found great success. So I figured today would run me the same...

I put the bucket out, dump the change in, and start to focus my attention to the passing faces. I start by eating a banana in slow motion to the beat, and you might think "That's just ridiculous"...It is but man! it sure does get people to smile. I ease into a couple of good songs, pick up some shiney, and way more folded then I could hope for. After a few hours my good friend Jong shows up. He just had his final interview with Apple and decided to come kick it for the evening in the city with me. Right as he arrives I notice on the corner across from me, the "silver guy" shows up, and starts eying me. He waits a little bit but then starts setting up his milk crate stage and eventually doing his thing....RIGHT ACROSS FROM ME!!! Street performing can be pretty cut throat, I've gotten into it with guys down in the CTA, a few weeks prior some crazy bums, and now this YAHOO with a leg brace. He does the same 6 or 7 motions over and over again, to the same 3 songs........makes a killing....but up until today I didn't have to look at him.

I haven't really taken a break since lunch, so I pack up my things, and head to the Subway right over by my silver adversity. We lock eyes as I pass and I dare not break my gaze. I head into the subway, snag 3 delicious oatmeal raisin cookies, refill my water bottle, and head to Michigan and Randolph where a month ago I was stalked by a lovely set of eyes. I'd like to give her another chance to make me feel like an important speck in her masterpiece. Jong and myself kick it there for an hour or so, make a little bit of scratch, and I bump into this kid. He looks extremely familiar but I just can't put my finger on where we've met. Him and this girl stay and watch me do my thing for a bit...
A girl with 1/4 the normal amount of jeans on threatens to battle looked like a cougar had snacked on her jeans and instead of buying new ones she told her friends it was "in". I screamed at her to get a full wardrobe and find me next week.
I get in a couple of pictures with some tourists.
Give out some suckers to some hesitant little children.
And eventually talk to people through a microphone on a busy street corner...
...To that extremely attractive women, who ignored my compliment, I get it...but yeesh! The world is cold enough, a smile, highfive, somefin...The upturned nose, head strong, mean stride thing is so over played these days.

Feeling like a stick in the mud or one of those other analogies I don't quite get but know spells out defeat I return to my usual corner. Like I said earlier, I've made some great monies in front of that Walgreens, I get a long with the management, and it catches a lot of really good traffic. The young man who I knew but didn't know departs from his female company and decides to kill a few hours with us. With this new development I have to ask...
"Where the fuck do I know you from dude..."
He explains of a time early in the summer when I was chilling with Sturf and DJ that we all met up for like an hour and walked about the city. It all comes rushing back to me and my overall good vibrations about the young man are instantly validated.
So I'm set up, digging in for the last few hours of my day, and there is this huge silver eye sore to my right. I decide to go with my own gimic...Me, some slamming D&B, and a delicious Red Apple. People sprinkle change in my bucket and I have a nice time cracking jokes with my two buddies.

I get the urge to take a wizz, I ask Jong to watch my equipment, and head to an alley. I have flashes of getting arrested for public urination but decide to go through with breaking the law. I think the risk reward is much better then having to walk around and actually find a public bathroom in the Loop (no easy task). Upon my return, I notice an extremely crazy homeless man has attached himself to our doings, and this isn't my first run in with this guy.

I've seen him before, i hobbles around on his cane, teeth rotting out of his face, large amounts of gray in beard, his hair the same, shorter then most, and always ranting about things. A couple times previous he's yelled at me "That pop-locking shit be Dead, u can't keep up" a few jingles of his cup and he's gone. I've always caught a bad vibe from him but like I said, he's usually peace after a few, but on this night he decides to stay and bother any passing peoples that might contribute to my bucket. After he scares off a few customers I decide to engage...The first of many mistakes!

Once previous I experienced a similar problem and dialed up the always honorable Chicago PD. They came, handled the problem, and I got back to doing what I love most. No arrests were made but the situation was defused and I hoped for a similar result. I give "Gray Bum" more then a few warning before finally telling him that I'm calling the cops. The name calling begins...I'm a snitch, I'm working for the man, and a whole slue of others. To be honest...

It fucking sucks...I hate seeing poverty and wish there was something I could do about it. The reality is, I have friends that teeter on the edge of being poor and homeless. Times are tuff and only seem to be getting tuffer these days. There is a homeless man who during the day normally watches me do my thing and doesn't bother anybody. When I finish and go to get dinner I always make sure to give him a little something and we've never had a problem....Oh and sometimes I play some earth wind and fire! This always makes him boogey with me and it's FUCKING HILARIOUS!!! However, there is no compromising with this man, and as were waiting for police to show up (20minutes after the call) he makes several direct threats on my life.

So when the police show up I start to feel a little more at ease, which if you've kept up with the goings ons in my life this past year you'd know this is a rare feeling. I don't really like Authority and after this evening my stance is completely planted....FUCK THE seriously...FUCK EM!!!

She's fat! and balding...a ginger and as I approach the car so does Mr. Crazy cane. She immediately snaps at me...
"Step away from the car, I don't want to speak to you until I'm ready to speak to you."
I'm a little confused but knowing that I'm in the right I step back thinking it's only a matter of time before she realizes it as well. Psycho bum man becomes Mr. calm, completely playing a much more appropriate roll, and after a few minutes of them discussing I'm called over to the car. As him and I pass each other I get this ridiculous half smile from him and he takes out an orange to begin pealing.
"Now sir, what seems to be the problem..."
I explain the things I've already explained to you and she says...
"Yes but what seems to be the problem."
So I go into further detail, she sighs, asks me for identification, and starts filling out yellow cards. After a few minutes of standing there in silence, staring at the folds that her flack vest is having a hard time hiding I get this speech from her.

"I'm not going to tell him to leave & I'm not going to tell you to leave. You two are going to need to just get a long. There are a lot of crazies out here and we can't go responding to every time one of them makes an idol threat."

I guess I have this "WTF" look on my face because she says

"well sir......what would you like me to do."

And I tell her that I'd really appreciate it if she did what the law enforcement agents did previously. And ask the man to move on, because he's going to listen to you over me. Then she asks me how long I've been doing this, because, she hasn't seen me out here before. I'm confused and ask what that has to do with anything and then follow up with...HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO GET ALONG WITH SOMEONE WHO IS THREATENING MY LIFE?

"Well sir, this is all being recorded, so now I need you to tell me what you want me to do."

It takes a lot of restraint to not say...You pizza eating, coffee chugging, minority oppressing, waste of space, eating up my fucking tax dollars...DO YOUR DAMN JOB! Serve and Protect! Instead I just ask her to handle the situation the way it's been held before but again I get a heavy sigh...So I ask for my identification back and tell her I'll handle this my way.

I head over to stumpy McGee and reach into my bucket...I dump some of my earnings into his cup and say.

"DUDE! I really don't want to leave this spot. Give me space for a few hours and I'll definitely kick you some change but please MOVE ON!

This excites officer fun bags and she calls me over to the car..."Hey what are you doing? Don't do that, I'm going to have him leave..." From out of no where a sergeant comes walking up and has me stand to the side. I watch the portly cop who still hasn't gotten out of the car once wave her arms about (oh the arm fat) and make a big deal out of her making a little deal out of a moderately charged situation.

At this point the panhandler has peddled on down the road and I'm stuck sizzling with two strips of bacon. The sergent calls me over and says...
"Sir is there anything else we can do for you."
I say no, he's gone, but he said he'd be back...
"Well if he comes back give us a ring and will...
...Fat, semi balding lady cop, gets out of the car for the first time and approaches her Sgt and me to say "There are 3 of you and one piss bum...right, he's a smelly, intoxicated piss bum, Why don't you Grow a pair, and deal with it."
I'm blown away!!!

I mean, jaw, floor, and I can see that smug silver mother fucker over there enjoying ever second of this. By the way...Don't give him money...He wears a brace to do that "smooth criminal lean" and does the same few moves over and over he gets way to mad at people for taking pictures. So he's getting a peak at victory and I'm staring at a fat greasy blue cow who is spewing with contempt. The irony of the situation is I'm the one who summoned her and at this point greatly regretting it. Before leaving she grabs my badge one last time and writes something down.

Both cops leave and I start to get back to my evening. Confidence greatly rattled but my two buddies help get me back in the spirit of things. It helps when I group of black girls come up and watch me do my thing. I'm slamming pretty hard getting my angst off my chest and I get a few claps. Then they ask...can we put on a song? I figure, sure I'll let you make some money for me :D One of the girls puts on a Twista track & I get to watch some of the most skilled humping I've ever had a chance to witness. Not more then a few minutes later an undercover cops cruise right up to my corner and call me to their car.
"You need to vacate this corner right now."
I ask why?
"Because your within X amount of feet from the door and because I said so."
I start to realize what sort of Cops these are...They are definitely Narcos...Big motherfuckers, the type that would probably beat your ass in an alley and leave you for dead. The type that might even shoot an unarmed person in a bar and get away with it. I ask them if I can move down the way and I get told.
"No, actually, you can't be anywhere on Michigan avenue...Move your ass to wabash. If you don't like it, I'll arrest you and take your shit."
With that big blue and white penis in my ass I walk back to my things and start packing up.
I know that frumpy, lazy, cold hearted cunt of a cop, called in a favor...
...I know this because way way way earlier in my day.
"Hey man! What are you doing? PopLocking?"
They shout from the car.
"nah man, I'm popping, and sometimes locking...mostly doing Liquid though"
That was pretty much it, no talk about the rules I'm breaking, or arresting me and taking my shit. Now all of a sudden after a negative run in with this one cop I have cops fist fucking me and what little rights I have.

I'm beaten, discouraged, but I decide hoping on the next train is for the week. So we set up on state street and are greeted by three extremely cute girls. They ask us if we mind them doing some side walk art for this gallery that is opening tomorrow. Really without an answer the ring leader jumps to it and they begin stenciling out letters. They are nice enough to let me help and after selecting some good chunes I get to draw on the sidewalks. I'm no Joe Condon but I'm pretty proud of my "N" that I trace out and the three feet I do. I cycle through some AC/DC and get these talented pretty ladies to smile a little bit. When they go to leave I run up and tell the extremely quite cute one she was my favorite. Creepy...yes Unnecessary... Definitely! Her face however was a dazzling display of brown and red that I can only hope kept her warm the rest of the time they did their sidewalk doodles.

We kick it for a half hour more and then three become two. It's Jong and I heading back to take the train to Lombard. I grab some grease and Orange HI-C, write a short napkin poem for a cute girl in purple and then board the train with a bit of time to spare. As we ride along, Jong steals my book I was reading and leaves me with wandering eyes. These eyes spy a 20 something girl with a hard day landing heavy on her brow. So I get to writing this circular piece about, admiration for the little things, natural beauty, and acknowledging that in strangers. I leave specific instructions to hold onto the napkin for a few days, weeks, but eventually to give it to another passenger on another train someday. I give it to her, once again, skin shifts to shades of reds and the world keeps spinning. As she gets off in Elmhurst she says to me...
"I'll make sure to pass this on...Thanks."

Two more stops is where Jong and I depart from the train. We step out into that lovely crisp fall air and stride wide to our cars. I'm going to miss adventures like this...Another one for the books (blog) and lord knows what the next one will be like.

Special shout out goes to Chicago P.D.
I hope one day you all get what you deserve and we as a people can learn to police ourselves. Because it's a fucked up system...been broken for much to long and it leaves a lot of us feeling helpless. All I need was a little help this evening...just a few right words directed at an extremely ill individual. Instead! I'm made to feel like I'm some sort of bad person. I tend to feel the world is a balanced place but after staring hard and long into the eyes of the beast I can't help but feel the odds are slanted in some peoples favor a little more.

When the revolution does come...
...You can find me and those brave enough to help, knocking over the nearest police station, arming up to take over a few more of them creating a perimeter to secure our own little city. The illusion of safety, by the intrusion and violation of our civil rights. No matter what I do or say they are always I write...Goodnight.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Before I lay me down to sleep...

I write these words for my brain to keep...

I'm getting ready to blast off!

So much time, hard work, and love has been put into this up coming event. I've seen the best and worst sides of me; especially these past few months, and I can't say I'd change a thing. So many people helped, with a few hurt along the way, but all if it truly done for the love.

I'll spend my few remaining weeks here, making emends, strengthening the most important friendships, patching up broken hearts, and soaking the lovely Chicago city with my liquids. I don't claim to be much these days, I've been really doing my best to not make those little promises to myself, the ones that drive me into fits when I fall short, and I'm starting to feel way more then alright.

Someone recently asked me...
"Do you think you'll fall again?"
They were talking about "love" and it's really funny because the place I live in (Broasis Laboratories) comes with a real special gift. All the previous occupants that have lived in this basement have found true love. DEEP LOVE!!! Life changing!!! When my relationship snapped and went way south I felt like a failure. I came back to this place and was so confused, not because I'm superstitious but because part of me wants that feeling so bad. Then as the depression washed away, as I started to pick myself up and realize exactly where I belong I came to a startling conclusion...

...I have found it. That rising feeling that chokes you out, sometimes pinching your eyes with the happiest of tears, and makes your insides feel like a balloon. I definitely found it and made it official...

She's my one and only...well...I do cut rugs in many ways but never have I felt freer. Never have I known it to be so feverishly found in forever. So as these next few weeks wager on and I come closer to completing my objective a large thanks goes to all those that saw this LOVE before me and helped fan the flames. This has been an amazing ride and I can't wait to see where it lets off.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

What it means to be Fluid...

So recently I was told that I'm not fluid...and this irritated me a great deal. Then a few days after I was chilling with some extremely fluid friends and brought it up. One of them said...

"ya know, thats a really good question, and one that would have a deep answer."

So...a few days later I sit in front of these keys and hope to bring some personal insight to what it actually means to be "fluid"

I relate fluidity to water...but I think this is to simple it's what first springs to mind. I think being fluid is being unstoppable, persistent, and adapting to all things.

I flow, when I write, when I dance, when I speak, and as I live. Life has a natural current, it carries us along if we will let it, and yes there are rocks. Jagged little reminders that the body isn't made to be TIMELESS (see blue scholars). Still though, with those knicks and bruises we develop character. Most every time in my life that I've fought the current and didn't flow freely i've suffered the most.

Been going about this life, in this vessel for 28 years, and I'm as hard headed as they come. Still I gain comfort in overcoming my weakness and surrendering to the natural pull of life.

I think the person was speaking about my dance...saying, "It wasn't fluid". I sure am glad that he said that because it's sparked a great wonder in my brain and has me picking that word apart from many angles.

Maybe I need to drink more water...?
Practice my paths more...?
Or just go with the ole flow, keep doing what I've been doing, and see how the end result rewards me. Because no matter what I'm extremely happy in my dance and with my dance.

Happy doesn't = Content

I'll continue to push the limits, learn new concepts and practice harder then most I know.

To me what it means to be fluid...
...To be free in motion

And I feel freest when I dance the little dances I dance best :)