Sunday, June 17, 2012

Behind blue eyes

This is a pre-poetry blast for the music video I'm working on to honor the man, behind the man, my main man, my dad! :D

No one knows what it's like...
Well maybe he does
We often get mistaken for as brothers
I think that's o.k. with him for a variety of reasons
it's definitely alright with me because I'm easy like the changing seasons
Tall & Skinny
and to put it not so simply
We care, much to much to much, and huff!
Like that big bad wolf inside us
isn't that tuff
If you've had the misfortune of loving one of us
well, sorry...but!
If you have the grandiose pleasure of loving us still
then you know what it's like
at least on those greener grasses
Clowns at heart
but you know what they say about that
So if you are reading, raise a glass
Cheers to the man, whose helped make this man into everything you either love or can't stand
I'd be nothing without him and thank god for that daily
He's been becoming more and more proud of me
which I didn't think possible
So on this day of unlikely role models
My conviction doesn't dare wobble
He is my hero, my shoulder, and one of the few people on this earth that can ever truly reach me
Thank you father for all the love, lessons, and things you've been able to teach me.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Peddling Poetry, thanks for getting to know me.

It's been a while since we've even had an internet conversation, let alone a real one, and I started to feel the disconnect a while back.  It's cool though, no really, not blustering, bluffing, or trying to be tuff.  It wasn't just that ya know...

Got ruffed up by the boys in blue two days in a row and saw my hopes for this summer going down in flames fast.  Then today, I get smacked hard by yet another disrespectful action by yours truly, and I'm realizing that she doesn't understand.  So I smash my fist, kick some things, and a lot of expletives going water falling from my mouth.  I walk half way to a home I know, hop the bus, and then rap on their chamber door.  I vent, they laugh, we chat, all laugh, I vent some more, am made to eat a sandwich, and must decline a dance with Evan.  Out the door, bursting with energy, determined to write the wrongs of the past 72 hours, and it's just one of those days.  Like, hmmm, ya know...If I bought 3 scratch lotto tickets two of them would be winners.

I get to the loop and make my way into the fest and begin to feel through the energies.  I gauge where the collective is and start my rounds.  Tagging people with invisible markers for later meetings of the minds and enjoying all the slap bass.  There were some good solo get downs but I was mostly admiring all the people dancing.  It's nice to sit in the passenger seat in that regard and focus on other pursuits.  My first customer was a group of three (this would become a theme) and it was amazing to come into there experience.  I popped in, did what I needed to do, was well received and once done peace'd.  The tips varied but a soon to be traveler of Spain dropped 20bucks on one of my poems and I about died.

Ran into a group of freight hoppers, they gave me lessons, tried to introduce me to various people and hype me up.  I was grateful and gave them some of my take from the day.  I think they wanted me to be a part of their crew but I explained I'm Ronin and that would greatly go against all I'm striving to be these days.  As the festival dumped out I got to jam with this dope bluegrass band on the corner of Jackson and Michigan.  They got the night lift in a marvelous furry with some of that old timey stuff.  Even did an encore performance of Wagon wheel as I etched out a poem about that one that ran away and of course not more then 20ft from where she ran in.

I admired the night, my life, and what I was able to do with all that negative energy that was ripping me apart.  I called out my thanks plainly, through song, and to my final random friend as we rode the green line.  Tomorrow will be a good day, glad I've found my way around the system, and will work through what comes next because....well...I know there is something else to dimantle right around the corner.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

caught between no phone & facebook less :/

The dismantling goes...and for any of your wrecking balls out there, you've probably come to know it always has more to goes.  My phone has been shut off and I'm not upset about this.  However it got shut off, as I temporarily logged back onto the book of facelesses and now "I've found myself in a tight spot".  I'll cut the chord here in the coming days, yet again, and I've already got all the things I needed from off there.  When I burned that up before, I didn't grab my pictures from the past few years (So many great memories), contact info of some key people that I only know how to get in touch with via that medium, and definitely didn't fully wax my little brothers pasty bottom.  All objectives complete and still it's hard to re-delete.  I guess that's the thing with a back slide, we just do it, sometimes don't know why, but before you know it your setting up plans to see some person whom you thought you never previously have given you a try.  :D

My mentor and good friend recently told me...
"Don't be afraid to hop off the path for a while, just make sure to find yourself back on it, and moving forward."

So my birthday came, there was a lot of flux going on around me, pressure to succeed in all things me, from me, and I decided to take a break on my monk like journey.  I let it all hang out friends, really, topped off at 3 months in some change and finally let that beast rip.  Indulged in many of my old friends and explored a variety of distractions.  I'm pleased to report, that after a fantastic finale in the city of Detroit I'm back on that path and moving in the direction that was suggested.

Will to power, the will to succeed, also lends itself towards site and these days I'm functioning with full clarity.  I know that this may come as a surprise to some of those found outside my life.  Oddly enough, I always wondered how you moved with such clarity, as I watched you trample myself, and sometimes those around you effortlessly.  Hopefully, I'm being a bit more merciful, and mindful of those around me.  As to say, the pain I've caused these past few months will definitely be the last of it's kind and from here on out it's incidental.  It's hard to think of someone who can walk through life with out ever causing sorrow, hurt, or a variety of negative emotions.  As I think, they usually wear robes, live in gardens of paradise, and have suffered much previously through out their lives.  I hope to find myself in some form of paradise in the coming months, with simpler people, learning new tongues, building foundations that will last, and sharing my ultimate gift the way she has always hoped so.

It's saturday night, I'm watching an informative movie in the background, playing verbal chess with a cheshire cat, doing bed yoga, and seriously contemplating sleep before midnight.  Oh Life!  The 180's have always been enjoyable and I go with it.  Hoping sometime sooner rather then later I have some adorable toes to connect with.