Sunday, March 21, 2010

In March I Find a Million Dollars prt3

Just getting in from the weekend, just had a bowl of soup, and some toast (yeah I guess I do really like soup). WoW!!! How do I write the words I need to remember. It's a delicate process that's for sure and it starts off running like wild horses...taking nothing, giving only whats deserved.

Going to try and wash myself a bit, unpack, and see if I have the mental energy it will take to conjure up everything that came exploding into my brain this weekend.

The week went...VRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOM!!! bye bye and in between the lullaby's I feel finer then fine. She's been doing that for me these past few weeks. I get to scheming and hopes are hidden much higher then I'm comfortable with sharing.

Matt stops by the lab, to work on some tutts and blow off some steam. Couple puffs of some handsome and some instructions about 90 degree angles we part ways. My place is really nice, it's been much to long since I've had a place to call my own, and I've got it set up just how I want it now. Hit me up if you'd like to come by and work on things. It's a fairly productive residence with room for a few.

Thursday!!! I pack her things in my car and then finally her. She's a trooper, so tuff, so pretty, and all to understanding. Some of you might know of my cat Simone, she strutted into my life one night at a rave, and we've had a funny story ever since. The chapter turns over and I'm dropping her off @ HQ. Randy recently cut the kitty count down to uno and I'd heard that cat was lonely. So I often feel like I don't give my animal enough attention and it seems like I'm spending the majority of my time in the city. Free foods for randys cat and I'll personally be taking care of the litter duties when I'm around. Seems like a win, the great part came after the two kitties got in the same room. Instant friendship...or so it would seem...just super playful with little to no hissing. So I wipe the sweat off my face and feel much better about the happiness of my feline friend.

Scott and I head out to this really nice Open Mic on the south side. Do some liquids dancings, a little poetry, and some promotions for the upcoming workshop I'm hosting and he'll be teaching at. We get a pretty good response and I'm hoping I made some really solid connections for the conference.

Drop off distortion and I had to her house. I invited her out to see P.O.S and Dessa @ the bottom lounge. Whats really worth mentioning is she seemed genuinely interested to come kick it with me at a venue of my choosing. I park my car pay the meter and enter her quarters for the first time. I'm FLOORED...hahhaha...and I'll say no more. She scurries around her place, reminds me that shes warned me about her punctuality, and I'm not to worried. I'm enthralled by her speech and can't help but feel the warmth she gives off with but the slightest of touches. We head down to my car a bit later then I told the meter and there is my first ticket of the weekend waiting for me. I've paid so much money to the damn city this year, I just chalk it up as my duty to improve my surroundings and hop in the sunfire.

We get to the bottom lounge just as Astronautalis is going on, I'd wanted to check him out because the review I read on him sounded good. He doesn't disappoint and definitely made a new fan. I gave him one of the topics to freestyle about "GirlScout Cookies" I shouted and he went on this rant before his freestyle about how they are the most delicious thing on this earth...i agree. Him and I talked after his set and he signed a record I purchased from him. I asked him to put the answer to my most favorite question on there...he cracked up and scribbled this bit about..."Collecting, cultivating, and peddling the pieces of his life" this made me way more happy then I can express with these clicking keys. Seems like what I enjoy doing as well and he gave me some advice as a performer...just a great musician and I'm glad to have caught his performance. Dessa comes onto the stage and plays every song of hers that I love. Plus my friend dances round with me in the back of the venue to "dixons girl". I'm more then content with calling it a night but the man of the evening P.O.S has yet to blast our eardrums(click on each one of the artist names to hear them at there best). He steps out and the crowd goes nuts. Previously my friend received a chair from this women who had the only reserved table in the joint. I turn to this women and ask..."Do you like him". The man she's with leans in and says..."That's her son" HAHHAHHAHHAHHAA yes yes, we kicked it with P.O.S momz. She was so sweet and nice and I saw her singing a lot of choruses. His performance was powerful and he played a lot of my kidney thief...but ya know what can you do. Tommy and I slam around and sing loud as possibly. Keep in mind, this is Thursday...hahahha. She goes to the car while TMY and I wait outside the venue and pass out LIT3 flyers. We get rid of a nice grip and I feel like the entire evening is a great success. For extra measure I run inside, cut through a line of girls and go up to Dessa..."We met back in August @ reggies and after I wrote a short story you were in, I was wondering if I can send it your way?" Her face lights up a genuine illumination and she tells me to send it to her face book. I strike a match light my wick and explode back to the car like a good bottle rocket should. TMY and I part ways and once again its just me and her.

She's a bit hungry, I'm always hungry, and we head to this little taqueria by her place. She puts her order in, I place mine, and our cook asks..."for here or togo". I look to her and she, the one who hates making decisions, says, lets take it back to my place. Thrilled as I grab our little brown bags and scoot down a few blocks to her spot. We feast and then fumble around with feelings. 4 hours fly by like why and she's falling asleep half on my chest. This is contention, this is a life sentence that makes all other hopefuls seem like henchmen, and for some reason I remove myself from her place. Oh wow, the dizziness I feel in my gut as I ride the worlds tiniest elevator down to the city streets, but i won't get ahead of's only thursday.

I get back to HQ, kick it with Simone, and cuddle up in the sleeping bag. I drift off quickly and contently knowing the massive day that awaits my attention. I wake up, rush through getting ready and make my way to the blue line. Hop on, start writing like mad, bumping songs from the night before, and remembering what it felt like to dance with her. I get off the blue line and my first piece of work is to find somewhere to let my phone charge because I'm lame and didn't charge it after everything the day before and it's now dead. I end up walking round from the loop to the water tower place to a best buy. They let me plug in and I head outside to set up and start performing in the little court yard out there. Totally stumbled upon a gold mine. There is no way for me to block the flow of traffic because it's a court yard, it's low so there is no wind, and there are all these tour groups that come through. I end up making like 35 bucks in about 2 hours. My two favorite parts of this experience had to do with some younger folks that watched. First and most importantly was this little adorable girl. She was maybe 7 years old and sooooo shy. Her mother comes up and puts some money in my box and says it's from her daughter. I look over and she's hiding behind her dad with a huge grin. So I do this mime routine where i give her a flower...and she just melts into a puddle of positivity and wonder. She later comes up and gives me a five spot and a high five. Some time passes and I see them about to leave so I call out and say.
"HEY!!! You better keep that flower, it'll be just as beautiful today as in ten years, just like you ;)" She then pretends to take the flower and tuck it behind her ear. I'm bowled over with cheer and go back to the rest of the peoples. Well, not so much peoples, but a large group (no lie like 75 middle schoolers) of kids, and they had a leader. He wasn't much by the looks of him but then that cannon of a yap started to get the best of him. Little did he know he made himself a target. :D We bonded in a way, he kept trying to shoot me down and for the most part I brought us back to even. He dance battled me? and won...which prompted others to try their hand at it as well. Of course they won as well and really the entire affair was funny as hell. I taught the group about existentialism, the dangers of smoking THC at to young of an age, and the wonder that is FLOASIS. As they left I received large contributions to my box and a barrage of high fives. I kicked it a while longer before finally picking my phone up from the Best Buy.

I had an awesome text waiting for her...Morale support, been so long since I've had it in this way...what way? Who knows it's just refreshing. Then I had a message from Kyle Terry, wanting to meet up for a lunch meeting. So we end up at the Soup Box and he begins telling me what he wants to do and wondering if I can help him out. I tell him what this year is about for me, who I know, what can be done, and most importantly what should be done. He picks up the meal and says were going to be doing some big things. I trust him because up until this point, everything he says he's going to do for me he has, and the biggest thing he's done was getting me on stage at the Lake Shore Theater. So I'm hopeful but most importantly I'm just glad someone met me for lunch and discussed some business with me.

We part ways and I make my way to Navy Pier. I'm taking her out for her b-day all day the next day and this will be our first stop. I purchase ticket to see the new "Alice in Wonderland 3D" and then begin canvasing the place for other activities we might get into after the movie. I already know that I'm taking her somewhere in this massive place to paint. She says it's one of her favorite things to do while tripping but the two rarely ever seem to cross. So I get to day dreaming and come up with a perfect plan. I get snapped out of my dream by Mr. AutoAxon. He says he's picking up some friends from union station and he can scoop me up around there to come to his studio. I say that would be wonderful and make my trek from Navy Pear to Union station.

I stop off at the "Blick" store in the loop to pick up all I need to surprise her. Some water colors, a few brushes and a couple of canvases. I grin a sinister smile at the check out line. I love surprising people but her, well, I hope to make a full time occupation out of it. She is so sweet, so tender, and super duper creative. I head back out and make it to Union station with some time to spare. I lay down and rest my aching toes and begin scribbling words in my replacement book. Not a new moleskin mind you...I feel it's going to come back to me...Even started a facebook thread for all ya'll to drop some positive thoughts in. I'll fill up this replacement book and if my books haven't made there way back to me by then I guess I'll purchase new ones. I get this crazy feeling like I'll have them back sooner rather then later ;)

Nick (auto axon) picks me up and then we pick up Will and Dan from a near by Mcdonalds. It's a funny world with overlapping characters these days and we head back to Nicks house to make music and blaze. He already gave Dotty and I a great set at this dank little party a few months ago. Now he brings me into his house and lets me record a track over a beat he just finished. I don't really have any of the good good with me...just a verse I throw together on the fly. I dig the hook a lot and the meaning of the whole verse. I get some knods of approval and Nick tells me he's going to fuck around with it over the course of this coming week. Then he tells me I'm welcome over anytime, need a couch to crash on, anytime...hahaha. Generosity like that is hard to come by these days and I'm very grateful to start working with him.

I don't stay as long as I like because I have a dinner appointment with Bob from shake it town. He invites me over to his residence for a delicious dinner his lady Colleen is cooking. Those two are a hilarious couple...since I've begun watching them I've found myself wanting what they have. You can tell they balance each other out and complete one another in a fantastic way. Of course I'm only typing that because I'm shit scared she'll castrate me ;) I walk to the californa bus but I stand there for a while on the phone with her and I get the feeling like maybe I'm now where I need to be. So she hops on line and informs me of where that stop is that I need...I'm on the wrong side of the street and end up catching the next bus. She informs me of her "chestnut locks" and I'm delighted that she enjoys talking on the phone with me as much as I enjoy talking with her.

I step off the bus and head towards Bob's place...
...If you've been keeping up then you know Rick and Bob are two of my favorite promoters in the scene. I don't always agree with how they do things but they really do throw the most quality events. You maybe pay a few more bucks but yikes man, I'd much rather pay 5 or 10 bucks more and really get a genuine experience. Some peoples though would rather save the 5 or 10 bucks and get fucked up...more. I don't know, to each there own, but I enjoy helping them out and I'm really excited to sit down and share some ideas with him over a home cooked meal.

The house is MASSIVE...LIKE...JUST WHOA BIG and the smells are wonderful. I'm starving from all the running around I did today. I sit down at the table and we get right into it. He gives me my portion of the new flyers they just got. Tells me about the various groups he has around the city and other states this weekend. I begin to realize that there promotion tactics are just out of control. I doubt anyone promotes as hard as these motherfuckers and I'm glad that I get to do my thing along with them. Some handsome is smoked and it's not to long till I'm out the door heading towards the blue line.

Hop on and two stops later I hop off and hobble over to HQ. I get there and start chatting it up with randy as I begin my HOBO shower. Seriously, ten minutes later, TMY walks in, and I ask him if I can catch a ride to Kinetic. He says yes but for some reason I end up driving, which works because we drop scott off at the blue line so he can head to work, and then make our way to lawrence and broadway. We park, grab flyers, and walk up to the venue. I notice a back door wide open and some band loading in equipment. I get this feeling like...GO FOR IT. I tell TMY to follow me and we proceed through the back door. I mostly just say hello to everyone holding the flyers at chest height and asking something about is Nick here. We get in FO FREE...yes the waffle fries. I can't believe it, he can't believe, and Kai is like WTF!

So, he goes by Emancipator and since he was introduced to me a year or so ago my life has become much most chillerest. Still haven't had the pleasure of seeing him play and we get there right as he's starting. I'm not saying nothing about synchronicity but it's literally slapping me in the face on the regular. There are some dope dancers there from Indianapolis that I've never met and we get down with them for a while. Real humble cats and down to just cypher, share, and be gone. I hear this amazing re-make of one of my more favorite Blackalicious tracks "make you feel that way" and he comes over the mic for his last track and tells everyone peace. I'm like wait a minute...wait a minute. Run up to the stage and say "So No "Old Devil"?" and he looks at me, shrugs, and then smiles saying maybe. Sure enough his last track plays out he picks up the mic and says..."I got one more, by special request..." AHHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

If you can't tell, these days, I'm way more in love with my life then I've ever been before. I see magic all around me and it continually gets better and better. I fight those demons where ever they might spring up but on the regular I'm swimming through sunshine of some kind.

Kai and NeNe peace out after we all chill and talk with emancipator for a bit. Tommy and I stay for a while to kick it with those dancers. She's texting me, once again, putting her night together much to late. :D I end up leaving, going back smoking some tweeds with TMY, and then calling her. I about I come over and crash at your place. I mean since i'm suppose to cook you breakfast in the morning. She's reluctant, I can't tell if it's because she doesn't trust herself around me or if it's just that she still doesn't fully trust me. Forth and back all the way back to forth and I'm driving back to her residence, right around the time i was leaving it 24 hours previously. This time i take my shoes off before i open the door, I have an enormous respect for her, and I'm fascinated to learn all I can about the way her world works. We cuddle up and crash...but before that a quick exchange of all that could ever be. I'm done for, I know this as soon as our lips cease to be stitched. It's a quick exchange but it's meaningful, sweet, and brings my vitality to full. I doze off in her comforts and wake right next to her so glad that it wasn't all a dream.

I hop to my mission, her born day is in a few days and I don't know that I'll see her on it. So I planned a really nice day and it starts with me cooking her a delicious breakfast while observing her diet. I talk with my dad on the phone as I go shopping, then randy, and finally myself. I return to her place and so starts her ritual of getting ready. It's hilarious!!! To me at least, I've always been a rise, wake, shower, shave, bam done sort of person. She slips off into a nice long relaxing shower and I begin cooking up some eats, setting the table, and handling some business I forgot to tend to before leaving the burbs. She comes out and is pleased by the table setting and the fact that I didn't destroy her kitchen. I'm pleased that she's pleased and we begin to feast. Big thick pieces of french toast...mmmmm...with fresh nutmeg, cinnamon, vanilla, and powder sugar. She does the dishes and continues managing her hair, outfit, and then begins wandering around the internet to pick out possible parties. She RSVP's for a bunch, even puts my name in the hat for a few, and as I pretend to read my book I'm just pummeled by the adorableness of her mannerisms.

Were getting real close to the time I'd said it would be nice to leave and she starts feeling rushed. We eat our respected pieces of paper and she goes back to the task of looking cuter then she already does. I head out ahead of her to get the car because from out of no where, in the midst of all this great weather, winter comes back with a nice little bitch smack, and I don't want her to have to walk in the cold. She comes down and we head to the Pier. Getting into the parking garage is just obscene but once we get in she some how finds us some super dank parking. We scurry about the increasingly blurry faces and our senses are seized by cinnamon. She knew what movie we were going to see, because she's smart, and probably because there are only two movies playing at Navy Pear. She ends up picking us out these dank seats too and we settle in just as the movie starts. HAHAHAHAHA! Tardy my ass...all things goes well with doses of understanding and patience.

The movie is amazing, I had seen it a few weeks previous but not in 3D. I cement my opinion that the caterpillar is the dankest character in the movie and really enjoy the cheshire cat pawing at the Hatters hat. The theater dumps out and we find our selves in the midst of a lot of peoples with some hours to kill. I ask her what she wants to do and she says this bit about me having things planned. I say oh yeah, head back to my car, grab my back pack, and then bring her to this nice little indoor garden they have close by the theater. The setting is perfect (to me) and I'm thrilled to bring out this surprise. I set up a chair across from her a cup of water I had previously gathered and pull out this canvas from my back pack. She shrinks into the fetal position and instantly says..."We're not painting here"

HAHAHAhahHAHA...everything went as planned, except for the most important part. I'm a little discouraged, just because in all my planning and preparing I didn't calculate her not wanting to paint in a public setting. !!YIKES!! Is that being near sighted or to specifically far sighted? I have no clue but we pack things up and I carry about the cup of water with me. I know a more private spot and we begin to walk about Navy Pier towards that spot. In between we stumble about the smith museum of stain glass. All the pretty colors don't compare to the sweet glare I was catching off her face when we were sitting next to that water fountain. We take a break and sit on this bench and she has a moment where she wished she didn't speak spanish. I didn't even understand what was being said but I could tell this drunk man was begging for some amount of money. She handles herself well and I sit across from her with a shit eating grin, ready to jump in if need be.

We head outside for a bit to smoke a bowl and I kick her a poem I wrote. She ventures out onto the pier but steps in a puddle and quickly returns to safer ground. Deeper conversations start coming in and I stick my foot in my big stupid mouth for the first time this evening...many more insertions were sure to follow :)

I put my plug my speakers into my iPod and begin bumping the tunes from the night previous. Taking a second pass at the pretty glass, I'm determined to get her to paint, but alas. NO! I was trying to be romantic, ya know, sweet, something like I'd never seen. Instead, I get down to that "Old Devil" and she films. Were interrupted by a renegade hide and seek game. The mother is much to apologetic and I have to explain how I turn everything into my own personal party which was so eloquently pointed out to me by my current company. I didn't even deny it when she brought it up because everyone is always invited :D

We head back to the car and I take a wrong turn in the parking lot. We start going up in stead of down and out. Instead of turning around I get this urge to see whats at the top. We drive, round and round. Then we break through to the immense night sky. Whip one more right and I'm just blown away by the site. The skyline from an angle I never knew before and the ferris wheel lighting up the foggy sky. I kill the engine and just take in the view. She smiles and says how she could paint here and I waste NO TIME. Instantly begin pulling out the provision and start setting up things for her. We spend the next hour or so talking, she brushes circles across the canvas and asks me deep prying questions. Normally I re-route those sort of questions, answer them when I see fit, but I'm in the presence of something much more magnificent then myself. So I let my tongue take a walk and it get's intense quick. This sort of sharing feels good though and she's an amazing listener (it must be the ears ;) ).

A moment of panic creeps into my otherwise peaceful setting. I'm suppose to be @ Tini martini round like 10:30/11 ish to support my buddy Kevin aka Bassphreak first ever live set. Things become rushed, words start flying around to fast, and me being the sensitive person I am take something the wrong way. She's sorry, then I'm sorry, then were both sorry, but we get to where we need to be on time and everything coasts back to a comfortable level. Kev-O's set is top notch for his first time out (watch them levels yo!) and the floasis family is in full effect minus TMY, sidelined by some strange sickness. She starts moving and I just can't stand it, I watch her dance for a bit and my entire body is warmed up to a pleasant temperature. I'm reminded of a few weeks previous at freak easy, when I first realized what she could do to me, and whats even more amazing is my friends agree. Dotty goes on after Kev and does the damn thing. Earlier in the day I dropped a hint about this "mad world" dubstep remix he played down in Western. He saves it for last and I'm absolutely gassed. I love that track and I very much love my DJ. This up coming Friday is going to be insanity TAKE2, bit[c]rush & Dottcom, for a full hour and a half...Plus floasis activities, plus a young thriving promotion company stepping out into there own ;)

So her and I step back out into the freakishly weird weather and head to "Party Monster" on the south side. As we drive the convo's just keep coming and the flirting is ridiculous. I don't know if you know me (u the reader) but I tire of company easily. I like to be by myself or surrounded with dancers and musicians. I'm going on nearly 3 days with this young women and I just can't seem to get enough. I keep telling myself, this isn't what you think it is, this is just what it will eventually be, and I'll be fine either way. However, in the more realistic chambers of my heart I can already feel an upset if I don't get what I want...but, whatever happens, I know for sure I'll have an amazing friend.

We get to the party, this is a new venue so it's a great change of pace, but we arrive at the tail end of all the good music. I'm a little danced out from my weekend anyways. Dan helps me pass out flyers and I go abouts doing my thing. She scoots about the party, connecting with her friends, losing her phone, finding her phone, and accenting this teenage wasteland with a touch of grace. As the party ends I stand up at the front door next to Joe and we say good-bye with a firm hello to all the patrons. I'm excited to help him turn out his next party "True Players" in a few weeks. The party pretty much dumps out and she informs me her friend martin is hosting a night @ Exit that goes till 5am.

Back in my ride we fly to the north side. I feel invisible with her at my side but not indestructible { ;) }. We make it to "exit" and I'm losing wind, losing steam, but you'd probably never be able to tell. The only other time I had been here was with her a few weeks ago after a nice night out and abouts in the city. We arrived much to much early for a drum & bass night didn't make it to far in. This go round I get a good look at this bar/club/concert venue and I'm super impressed. The bouncer at the door is doodling some of the sickest art work I've ever seen a bouncer doodle. Hmm, come to think of it you really don't see bouncers doodle, but WHOA this guys drawings were intense. Him and I chat about how great it is to properly spend your time at work. I've met a few of her friends up until this point but none like this. I ask Danelle my most favorite question...
"whats your favorite part about being a Human Being?"
she laughs out loud in a hilarious manner and then says something like.
"It might not be the most sophisticated answer but I'd have to say SEX"
We both start cracking up, I say that I ask this question to so many peoples, and when people are stuck I usually equate it to them being to timid to really say that answer. Sex is great, especially when you get it consistently with someone you love, and can share everything with. A few minutes go by and I turn to her husband Martin and I hit him with the same query.
"Man, I'd say, my wife."
He flashes me his ring and says how she completes him in so many amazing ways. How she's his best friend and they've been together since they were 16, rave love, awwwwwwww, and for a moment I'm sad.

See, I once had it all, or so I thought. She was my rave sweet heart and I always envisioned us being together forever. Getting into trouble and losing ourselves in those flashing lights. However, the story takes several severe twists, and alone I wander this world. Hoping, holding out, for something that moved me more so then she ever did.

The whole time these conversations are going on she bounces about the bar, beer in hand, shuffling round to the beats and really enjoying herself. What's great about her (well I mean there are so many great things) is that she has an amazing time and never at the expense of someone else. The party leaves her for the evening and she plops down next to her friends to chat and after that we end up heading back out to "sunny". The whole way I'm driving her back to her place I'm hoping to cuddle up next to her one last time this weekend. We pull up and she says...
"what's your plan?"
I take my chances and talk about giving her a massage and cuddling up to cap off a fantastic day. She smiles, hops out the car, singing something about hurrying up and with that my mad hunt for parking takes place. I circle round for a while and find nothing so I get a spot near a meter, set my alarm for 8:45 to make it down and move my car later. Moving with quickness and a cheesy grin, I arrive back in her comforts and she is soooo tired. At one point I'm told no more petting....HAHAhHAHAHaahah.....I was unaware thats what I was doing but I can see it now :D I drift off to sleep feeling fulfilled and completely submerged in her sweet smell.

My alarm goes off and I quickly head out towards my car to find my second ticket for the weekend. !!!YIKES!!! Whatever is a fella to do...guess meters are @ 8 now...lets not forget you have to pay the meters on sundays now...DAMN THE MAN! I move my car somewhere that meters can't touch it and I return to pass out for a few more hours with her. She wakes, stretches and struts around her place looking so wonderfully curvaceous. I adore her moles, her toes, and those dents in her cheeks. She just rises spitting least to me.

I made breakfast the other day so she offers to make breakfast but doesn't want to make me eat what she normally eats. I tell her that her diet is one of the things I enjoy most and that I'd like to eat what she's eating. She cooks us up some poached eggs(3:35), toast, fruit, and OJ. I can't tell you the last time someone made me breakfast and every bite is delicious. We lounge about her place all afternoon, making it handsome, watching funny shows, poking holes at one another's organs, and it's everything I'd hoped a Sunday could be. At one point she takes out some of her drawings and shows me what I'm certain few get to see. I'm pretty sure if your still reading this your just vomiting because of all the cutesy stuff but MAN!!! what a great topper to an amazing couple days. After a bit more time passes it would seem I've over stayed my welcome. HahahAHH! who'd a knew 4 days with someone you hardly know would be to much. So I run about her residence leaving her little surprises to find in the coming days and I goto leave. Before I go though she just cripples me...

...I lean in for...I actually don't know what I'm leaning in for, hoping a kiss, but ya know...I don't know. She grabs my face with both her hands and plants an amazing kiss on me. Not to hard or soft, definitely not long enough (never satisfied :D ), but oh my god does it get my internal heater boiling. I step out into her hallway with songs of Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin bouncing about my head. I head towards my car humming a smoking popes tunes and roll out back to HQ.

I get there, to chat with Randimous, and we get to business. He's an amazing guy, trusting to a fault, and generous with everything he has. He vents to me about things and oddly enough the questions get turned on me. So I go into a lot of the crap I've been carrying around lately. It's a nice hour conversation, possibly longer, but there is relief in both our eyes at the conclusion. I guess P.M. has started moving in and things appear to be picking up speed...SPRING!!! can you feel it? AHhaHAHAa I can, the anticipation, the newness, the rebirth, and the hope of all things amazing.

I drive home...
...feeling like
A trillion bucks doubled on a dice game
That little boy who use to climb tree's with Rehanna
Amazing mashed up into a delicious cake of Awesome

She is stunning, kind, WAY TO SMART, and the most real women I've been allowed to interact this closely with since my fall. So much wind in my sails I make it home in record time and get to plugging away at these keys. Oh my Oh geez digging what you do to me.

So yeah, still, haven't found that million bucks but every time I wake up next to her I feel like it. Life is a lovely metaphor....

...see ya soon ;)

:EDIT: WE DID NOT MAKE OUT!!! it was brought to my attention that it may seem like we did but we didn't. If we did that wouldn't be written here. Just the nice light hearted stuff...gota keep it PG for the kids :D

Saturday, March 20, 2010

In a lioness den

Wake rise feel complete,
There she is sweet,
From chestnut locks to feets...

Talks about important things...triple check
Lounging about in her rituals.............this could take a sec
It's a new day one planned a particular way
Aprehension to a stubborn Chicago wind
wicked weather amidst her special day
I act clever yesterday...
...Will avoid the spray and still get to play
in a way she'd always hoped
or so I hope
cutting it close for time...whoa check
All surprises hidden...things she'll never suspect
Give me this
To make up for that
Let me kiss
something that can't be matched
Burning now at the best degree possible
Hoping for a real glimpse at what most call improbable
Looks like it
Smells like it
Talks like it
I'm delighted to give my every last thing and try it...
the notion
That she is all I'll ever need

Monday, March 15, 2010

In March I Find a Million Dollars prt2

No moneys found yet...but get this feeling like I'm finding something so much more valuable.

My editing class was intense this past week and my project came together nicely the last 1/2 hour of class. Found some hilarious music to go over the really lame footage they gave us to edit. I know I'm there to learn the basics of this program but I can't help but feel the knowledge might be better enforced if we were allowed to work on projects we felt connected to.

I didn't have my open mic this past week so that gave me some free time to work on some personal projects. I finished a Bio video for P.M. but after posting it realized the audio needs to be re-worked and when that's done I'll make sure to post it up in here. That poor dude, been working like a dog at his new job, so you make sure to give him a big hug when you see him.

My improv class has sort of leveled off. The people who have a natural talent for it seem to be still gaining new skills but a lot of the class has hit this comfort zone. Pushing themselves past that seems to be a difficult task. Now as I think about it, most of us don't really like to push ourselves past those comfort zones, and I'm no exception.

Fooooooooood!!! I love it....mmmm....Tasty delicious food. Can't say I eat the healthiest but I know I'm definitely no where near the worst. However, I've been noticing lately, that most of the "good" girls (good being relative to my search for companionship) are extremely health conscious. Either vegetarian, vegan, or some sort of compassionate diet. So when i went shopping this past week I made some changes, nothing cold turkey, but ya know baby steps. Mind over matter, to be a part of a global solution, and I must say I don't know if I have what it takes. Time tells all and it ticks away so slow in between my meals. HOORAY FOR RICE!!!!

My weekends have been starting on Thursday lately but this means I make it back to the lab by Sunday......instead of Monday night. So I rush home from the gym and begin packing up my place. Joe stops by and we chat as I load up my iPod for the weekend. He tells me his plans for the piece and we go over where and when will be meeting up. I love that kid, he's become an amazing ray of sunshine in my life, and were doing a lot of amazing work together these days. After he leaves I catch a quick shower and stuff my life into that silver beauty of mine.

I take to the city with the quickness and pick her up outside of her jobby job. She comes across the street umbrella in hand, steaming mad, feeling the pressure of a really long work week, and I know what my objective is this evening. We race towards the north loop to catch a movie she has free tickets for, talks of one upping, a little THC, and we come to find that there is no room left in the movie. She seems bummed, also a bit tense from her 11 hours days this week, and defeat seems to be creeping into the evening. I make a suggestion, drinks, possibly an appetizer, and definitely a shedding of her ungrateful boss.

We walk into the "Rusty Spoke" and I bump right into Pueblo. He's my best female friends husbands best friend and him and I usually watch a lot of the Bears games together. He takes us to a table with a nice view of the corner outside and from where I sit I can actually see Izidora's house. She drinks beer, I drink whiskey, and we share a quesadilla. The conversation is comforting, and after I have 1 1/2 I'm able to say what I've wanted to say most to her. I get a little misty and it looks as if she does too. I'm in no hurry, taking my time, building a bad ass friendship, and really really enjoying the view. I let her read something from my book (actually turns out both the things I let her read are already on here (!!!lame!!!) and excuse myself from the table. I bump into another friend of Christo's, (Izzi's hubby) Tommy, and we get to chatting and telling jokes. We both give this nod and I say something about seeing him in August. Back at the table she smiles something slender and silky at me. I stare over her shoulder and out the window at this little boy. We begin to make faces and play hide and seek. He's cracking up and shortly his mother shoots me an approving glance, like, thank you thank you, he's a rambunctious tike, and any form of entertainment provided by someone other than me is much appreciated. I think, maybe I should start up a daycare service, and then I think....well....I think how I was suppose to have my own by now.....sadness....for a moment. Then, i re direct my attention to my company and with a bat of her lashes years get swept into that whole meant to be category...yeah...even the really gory. Watching her eat the last quesadilla has to be one of the funnier things to ever happen to me over drinks. I asked her later what her thoughts were as she piled as many condiments as possible onto it. She said something along the lines of..."I knew it was the last one and I didn't want to waste anything." Thats what I thought she might be thinking but getting the conformation was a lot like singing in the rain. We pay, step outside, she saves my jacket from being left there, and I tell her a funny story about how I seem to like to lose things, especially back packs.

We part ways and I head to the smartest bar in all of Chicago. I pull up as TMY pulls up and I make sure to step out in ninja like fashion. We head down into the bowels of smart bar and meet up with the rest of the gang. Tonight, excision has come to slay and were all to willing to destroy our eardrums. Been waiting to see him for quite sometime now and he drops a lot of my favorite tracks. Highlight for me was watching this little girl curled up next to a speaker passed the fuck out. Like dead to the world with bass lines hugging her body as she lay on the ground motionless. The security comes by to wake her up and she gives them that shove you use to give your mother when you needed some extra sleep before school. A real live mash pit breaks out, almost got elbowed in the face, and still she silently sleeps...

...About half way through my great smart bar session I get a text from her. Informing me of a free give away, 50 back packs to the first 50 shoppers at the grand opening of the new Columbia store on Michigan ave, and I think to myself how long I've waited to experience that sort of thoughtfulness...

...The night ends with me dropping The Turtletarian off at his residence...but wait...the night ends with Kevin and I rolling through kinetic playground to do some promoting for Leprechaun Disco. Handing out some flyers, bumping into the Only Tom, and getting bitched out by Sunshine. YIKES!!! Handed out a nice stack to the party goers and packed up the car towards the Hostel. Kicked it with Kev, Delila, Cadet, Steve, Loren, Matty.........this could go on for a while :) Yeah on a thursday night, great chunes just kicking out and it's like 5am. I eat a delicious breakfast sammich I purchased from Dunkin Doughnuts, couple munchkins and some tasty chocolate milk. Puff puff pass with a couple of laughs and it's long past my bed time. I do some daps, hugs, half hugs, shoulder bumps, and I'm peace. Hop in my car to put myself in position to score a free back pack after a few winks. Parked around the corner I bust out the sleeping bag, pillows, jackets and I drift off comfortably in a few minutes.

I wake up sweaty and not to refreshed, maybe caught like three hours but I have a large day ahead of me. I step out into the springy chicago streets, feet feeling light, and "the Darkness" rattling round my dome. I round the corner to see a long...LONNNNNG line and I think to myself, who'd a knew a lot more people besides myself lose their backpacks. I cycle through some tracks, boogie down a bit in a large glass window and I'm handed a free hat. I peak around the corner to see just how long the line is and I'm really surprised by how many people have come out on a friday morning for a free pack. With that, I head back to my car to pick up Tom, not tommy, or thomas, but many Tom's these days.

I scoop from an afters where he'd just been dosed a few hours after us parting ways the night before...hours before...whatevers. We drive towards Orland park, I get us lost, but eventually we find our way...wait, did I say I got us lost? I meant the crazy meth head at the speedway got me lost...I took that left women and it took 20 minutes out of my life in the wrong direction :( We right our route and proceed to the Orland Park Mall attempting to catch some kids on lunch. We find few but then we decide to hit up all the stores they will be going to after class. A sprinkle here, a drop there, and flyers can be found all through out the mall. Still not feeling satisfied we roll through this high school parking lot, 5 dollars attached to a stack of flyers, and we comb through to find no one. But THEN!!! Tom spots two auto shop doors that are open with students working on cars. He tells me to wait and within minutes I see some 16 year old roaming passing them out to his friends. Tom comes back to my car with a grin a mile long. We both crack up and head on down the road. Still not satisfied...We pop over by a community college. I find an extremely pretty girl, pay her a compliment, and then offer to pay her five bucks to pass out some of these flyers to her friends and class mates. She smiles and can't really believe I'm going to give her five bucks. Finally feeling like we made something of the day we head back towards our neck of the woods. We stop off at a Portillos, Tom says he'll take me out to lunch and I couldn't think of a better place. Before heading in I end up wailing some blues out for this older man whose standing round singing. It's a real surreal moment but it keeps me smiling through out the rest of the day. We polish off our food, pass around a few more jokes and head back towards Oak Park. He hops out my ride but not before blazing me down with some fantastic smoke.

He's a lot like me in a lot of ways but he knows a ravaging pain I dare to never understand. He's a commendable man in a lot of forms and it feels like Tom and I will be helping put together parties for a long while. He loves them almost as much as I do, if he didn't have those beautiful kids maybe he'd love them just as much.

I head to Hall of Fades and wait for my new barber "Angel" to get me in his chair. I'm crunched for time because I'm suppose to be meeting up with my gooderest female friend Izidora. I show up a bit early in hopes to catch his chair empty and this is clearly not that type of barbershop. After sometime I get to hop up and shoot the shit with Angel. I'm glad I decided to come here and try a new barber. His work is just ridiculous and worth every penny. He's a bit rushed and it's still by far the best graphics job I've ever had done in my head. On one side it says Dott and on the other it says Com. This shall go wonderfully with the "womp womp" cape I made sometime after Halloween. Angel and I talk about the next time I come through and with that I'm dust.

I get to Izzy's place as quick as one possibly can, shifting through rush hour traffic, I'm pretty good about cutting through the dead zones. Once there I'm tackled with sharp humor and stabbing remarks that only a friend of many years could conjure. Her husband (Mr. Chicago as I like to call him) comes home and hands me one of the most touching letters I've ever read. He's an amazing writer and put his words together perfectly to show his admiration of a gift I gave him a few weeks ago. Not to much time, Izzy and I head out the door into the rainy Chicago night. Were suppose to make it way the flip north by Evanston in not a lot of time so we decide to do the next best thing....GET DRUNK!!!

First we hit the blue light, I gush about the night before, she speaks of the argues process of getting a grant for the book shes been translating, and we swig back our drinks to the soundtrack of Guttermouth and other punk bands. Dipping back into the rain we head towards the very packed and excite able Beat Kitchen. More drinks, photo opps, foods, and important conversations. Things about the friends that didn't make it this far, hopes about this impending year, and what "it" all means. I'm blessed to have this women in my life and will forever be grateful for her abducting me from my home all those years ago. I live where she use to live and I'm constantly reminded of the wealth of potential each individual person holds with in them.

We head back to her casa and I swap words with Mr Chicago over another cocktail. We discuss the recent trades with the bears, how much of a genius there baby is, and what it is I run and round doing through out the many weeks that pass. I don't stay to long, because I'm suppose to meet the gang at Kinetic Playground to listen to the delicious sounds of Mimosa. Cart my ass across town and show up to shake hands with Rob, Kai, TMY, and the always fabulous Nereida. There are various others that filter in through the night but these be my equals my peoples....peoples peoples peoples

The music is meh, the company is great but my gOd what a fucking day. I feel heavy, I feel spent, but my hair is looking so mighty nice I must show it off to everyone. I also must hand out more flyers...MORE FLYERS....AHHHHHHHHHHH! I grow tired of this grind but I do it because I know October will be that much more enjoyable. Plus, it's nice to be helping new promoters in the Chicago underground scene. It's good to be with peoples from the beginning and watch them rise to the top. I seem to get a sense of satisfaction from it time after time. I call it an early night and head over to HQ.

Mr. Cadet, Steve-O, Emily, Delila, Randy and myself all chill and some marijuana is blazed. Tunes are once again bumped and we begin to compile more inside jokes to share out at later dates. Seems like a healthy recipe for success, good tunes, good peoples, and a great house. So...she texts...and i get all types of fluttery. I invite her over to come smoke a bit with us and she says her phone is about to die. So I say "take belmont to kedzie and then make a left...I'll be at the first marathon on your left...can't miss it" I run out the house with the quickness and begin to blow some tunes into my blues harp. The rain is cold, calculating and I'm left out in it for quite sometime. After a few moments out in the rain I realize I don't have my cell phone on me. So I dash back to the apartment and grab it...sure enough...missed call. I attempt to dial her up but it goes straight to voicemail. So i head back out into the mist and for the most part I'm a smiley guy. However, after sometime I'm not so smiley and I figure she's given up as well. I get a call from her once she's back at her house safely and there is a lot of back and forth laughter. She's worth it...on so many levels. Hang my clothes to dry and FINALLY!!! I close my eyes.

possibly 5 hours of sleep and then I roll over to call her.
"Do you want french toast or pancakes?"
And so begins an hour long conversation about how she's particular and doesn't know about me coming over to cook her breakfast. Then there is this bit about all the laundry (that I've offered to help take care of now) and other things that need to be done. So we decide to not be a distraction to one another and she says she might come out to "the Disco" with me this evening.

I get up and take to my day...

First Randy, Emily, and myself head to the party store so I might buy some supplies for a carny game idea I have. Then we head towards the loop so Randy can get a lens and drop the lovely Ms. Emily off at her dorm. I love that young womens wit...she keeps speed like few I've seen. Randy gets what he needs and we head back north, deciding to go outside of the city to pick up spraying paints...GREEN...and along the way we have a discussion about how we think to much. This might be true of some of you reading this. You over analyse every possible situation because your more then just a little shit scared of making mistakes this late in the game. Breathing helps, busying your hands with a million fantastical activities seems to calm the urge, and I usually attempt when I do veer off in my mind to keep it as positive as possible. That's been easier these past few months but I remember failing at that the winter previous.

Lots and lots of rushing about, then I end up passing out for a little bit, some much needed zzzzz's to give me a boost for what was sure to be a crazy night.....I wake, ready, and in the middle of this Joe arrives at randys. This dude...let me tell you...What the holy hell...who could have ever telled. The witty dialog that spills out his mouth naturally is amazing to me. Mixing profound zen ideals with every day situational humor and doing it all so carefree.

Note To Joe: Next time you take that damn star off your forehead when your trying to have a serious conversation with me...How old are you...and WHERE DID YOU GET IT FROM?
End Note to Joe:

So everything gets loaded and I'm off to HEDGE! From what I gather the passing days have been a constant grind. She's frazzled and I'm sure she's looking forward to getting away from the crazyness of it all. It's always a delight to watch friend get lost in the lights. I pick her and mr DJ from her aunts, and we speed off towards the venue to get Tom some much needed back up. An impromptu scavenger hunt at Kmart gets, us prizes for "Flozo Buckets", Randy a dope as car, and a few pizzas. THEY ARE 5DOLLARS!!! what do you want from me??? Afford ably delicious...yum and yes please.

Once Randy and the gang get there we strategize along with the Sheesh. Were sort of making a team it would see. Artists, hustlin, together helping each other out and who knows hopefully getting ahead of the curve. We dig out our own little corner in the party and proceed to go about our personal plans. Jewelry, with gorgeous meaningful stones, and crafted in the darkness of the party. Photomagraphs on a sick improvised back drop (The real sickness coming very soon by Mr Matt Vreeland) and then the floasis fun.

As I mentioned Joe came out to help us again and his piece was nothing short of stunning. This drippy rainbow exploding with layers of color and intricate smears placed about his canvas masterfully. From what I'm told he made a few friends that night and even maybe strengthen an older bond. I set up a BOZO bucket style game along one of the walls. I only saw it once...ONCE...well wait first let me explain.
People...FUCKED ya know, substances, rave, loud music, low light settings but prizes need to be won. So with inferior depth perception and no patience they'd come to try and sink a ping pong ball in all five buckets. Mostly they didn't get past the second and it was pretty fun to watch (for my enjoyment and the people playing the game) and I'm thinking about filming next time ;) However there was one man, a mighty man, with a laughter that could sheer wool from sheep, and will forever be known as the man that defied the rave carny gods. His name was Michael and the last time I saw this dude he was bailing me out of an intense situation in Wisconsin. This time however, he pays a dollar and I hand him the ping pong balls that have periled so many He step up to the little glow bracelet line and starts sinking shots like left handed free throw specialist. ALL this crappy lit setting, i'm pretty sure he was fucked up, and ALLLLL FIVE!!! I couldn't believe it was a bounce in too. SOOOO dope! The carny game proved a real nice way to generate buzz about the conference and it helped bring in some loot.

!DottCom! He's been doing his thing for years and recently he's let me come jump around up there with him. It's so much fun, I get to connect with an entire room of people, speak positivity, prosperity, and my humor all because of him. So I lined his name in my head, dawned the "WompWomp Cape", and brought some leprechaun robots out with me for his set. It's by far the most fun I've had with my old four square rival. He dropped what has so far been my favorite dubStep track and I remember jumping off this massive sub into a grip of kids to start slamming. OHHHHHH WHAT A NIGHT!!! and she wasn't even there yet...anticipation...Springs the season for these things.

It's getting late...r and still no words so I text, I get this weird text about what highway to take. So I call. HAHHAAhA Then I run around outside to talk to the security guard who supposedly knows the best directions on how to get there. With some 3 person navigating we get her from Indiana to the party safely. Oh WOW...soft...and smelling like something I'm so sure I recognize. It's specific and from my childhood but I can't make it out and I won't dare ask for the answer...yet. We toast like we said we would and she scoots about the party dancing. I handle my responsibilities at the booth but the party begins to pick up speed and I'm thinking I've had enough work for one evening. I mean, running the booth, running to the second stage, and side stepping little bouts of adversity all abouts me. So I pack it up and kick it with the company I've so longed for long before this company was at my door...comfortably in case I haven't said that before.

The party mysteriously ends early, with some un-seen guy on a microphone, Tom and I are where the fuck is this guy talking from. People scramble for an afters, I pass around my LED frisbee in the rink. Phil hits me with a pass in stride, Scott joins in, and there is a group of the greatest party kids I know giggling where we were working so hard all night. It was Little Rachels plan to dose a grip of us this night and it was my plan to dose her and there we all are. No motivation to leave the comforts of our roller rink but somehow we pack up cars and head back to HQ.

I decide to leave my car at the roller rink and ride in her car. This turns into me driving her car and a hell of a story I don't dare share with the world. So much hilarity and anxiety...this is her in prime time and I'm fine. However; LONNNNNGEST CAR RIDE EVERRRR!!! SO warm!!! TOASTY.

We pick up some stragglers and shake them off after a few hours. Distortion does the beat machine better then I've heard up to this point. Many tree's are smoked, phil finally gets his pupils right, turtle reminds me of Master Splinter, Randys Bed slays two more unsuspecting peoples, and there is more laughter then anyone knows what to do with. I love it...after a long night of "working" it's great to kick it with quality people and music. It sounds if bills will be paid on time and later I'm told a nifty nostalgic sleeping bag is bought. I'm happy for my friends and I take my two trippers to my most favorite place in Chicago on a sunday morning.

THE pickME Up

It's the best, dank jukebox, amazing eats for all diets, and this amazing ambiance. So many conversations have splashed these walls but few would match with this morning. I hop from one side of one booth to the other, sharing stories, stealing French Toast, and switching beverages to frequently. Oh Lord!!! That girl slays a many many many ways but combo it with Joe and I was done. My sides splitting as I'm trying to shove food down my throat. She tells us about her non-cruel beliefs, Joe spits about truth and nothingness, and I do my best Steve Martin. We leave a respectable tip because after all, the weathers getting warmer, and I'll be filling those shoes all to soon. Hop out into a fresh day, with two amazing peoples, Joe jumps in his ride, and I'm left standing there with her. She wants to give me a ride back to HQ, I say something about helping with the laundry and she laughs ?with me? We part ways with a batt of eyes, hug and trailing laughter.

I hop a bus, lose the two most important books i own on that bus, but not before getting to play 21 questions with one of the few promoters I enjoy working with. The day is falling out from under me and panic is mixing with rage. Luckily for me, Kevin is back at HQ and he let's me just run my mouth up the wall and back round......
....WHOA TOMMY!!! wish you could have seen the eats Scott was cooking up...Major WTF...oh wait...actually you can see....end whoa!
So morning meets afternoon and before to soon I'm packing back up everything I brought with me for this crazy long amazing fantastical weekend.

Melinda and Rachel are nice enough to give me a ride back to the roller rink. We fight through some traffic, I scribble words that I don't dare say to her in the back seat, and we talk about the coming months. Ohhh Yeah, there is that anticipation again..........I love it. Not nearly as much as fall but it's my favorite part about spring.

I get to my car...she sits shining something stunning. So many miles, so many stories, and I love her like it's what keeps her running. I decide to peak into the roller rink...ya know...see it when it isn't all ravey. There is a birthday party going on and you totally can't tell there was a group of people in there the night before liberated under one slamming ass party. Losing and finding themselves all over again as laser spliced through the crowd and bass pumped louder and louder. I hop into my car and start heading back towards home.....whatever that is :D

I call her up because I assume she'll be on the road to Wisconsin and I assumed correctly. We have a really sick way of shaving hours (not minutes) away with a phone call. I like that, it's been a lifetime or two since I've shared that with someone. No lies, she makes me want to be better, and actually before meeting her I thought I was the best. Friends first and foremost because what else do we really have in this life. Aside from family and well, this isn't a stab at mine in any way but I haven't always had family. FRIENDS!!! amazing mountains of all I could ever hope to be, enabling me to continually dream...friends, thanks ;)

As my life is growing increasingly busy it would seem that writing these long posts will become a thing of the past. I'll continually update but YIKES!!! not like this...that is until next winter starts the cycle all over again or I start finding larger pockets of free time.

Jimmy's calls to me and I must answer...I must make this conference a reality and that's only going to come from asserting myself in ways I never knew possible.

Your lucky numbers are: 23, 13, 7, 56, & .34

Peace peace, thanks for reading.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

This ones about me TOO

I carry a bag of pistachio's with me for every peanut gallery
I gladly gut check glutens & have them spewing their apathy
Hive Fiving the savvy
because sadly
The simple things seem to stitch us up & re seam the dream from the calamity
A stutter step
but I'm heaven sent
Hobble along with my dented divinity
Century over Century
the sencurions
have been sent to oppress me
Fly in the ointment of society
I'll forever be
that gadfly showing you the fools gold they have you fighting over is for the bastardly
As cool as Kurt Cobain sober
glossing my life over
Winning every cook off with my cunning plus stophers
& I let you loud mouthed know it alls play the gophers
While I go for fresh produce like a lime green I mean lazer guided grocer
Got good intentions like Grover
& I'm so sure
The world will be ready for the camotion I stir
A lions pur
So tread lightly
Whether or not you like me
a blur of fist be fall your face if you ever dare to fight me
I'm the cure like aloe on you ignorant rappers rubbing rhymes raw like ivy
Bite me
Or sip me slow like summertime ice T
Just know there ain't another human being wandering the earth like me

Monday, March 8, 2010

In March I Find a Million Dollars


Finally free from February and onto the manic month of March. So much good stuff and only so many days to enjoy it all.

The week was ridiculous in so many productive ways.

School was cool but my editing teacher is definitely grinding on my last nerves and were only through the half way point of the semester. I now currently remove my tongue before entering class so as to not in site a riot among my fellow classmates (who are just as fed up as I am). My improv class rules and it seems as if the entire group is really coming together nicely.

Mr D-Skreet came and stayed at the lab for a few days. That guy is a dance !!!MACHINE!!! I leave for school he's dancing, I come back still dancing, I make us lunch and have to tell him to take a break. Right after he's done...BAM...dancing. He helps me out with a lot of my popping foundation and we discuss upcoming projects we'd like to do together. He's definitely going to be one of the dancers on the regular helping me tear up Michigan Ave. One of my favorite moments of his visit this week was him doing boxes with pretzel sticks. Like I said (and others have said) DANCE MACHINE (check him out)

D and I part ways and I go out to support Mr. Ken Kennex at some night in SHAMburg. Firstly I stop over by my buddies Matt's apartment. It smells very "handsome" there and he makes sure to make me smell as handsome as well. Some good tunes and philosophy and then I'm back cutting up concrete with my silver sweet.

I arrive at the "club?" mexican eatery early as hell so as to not pay a cover. This works but then they make me pay a 2 dollar mandatory coat check...A lot of WTFing goes on between me and the women whose taking the money. Then I point out that were in a recession and how two years ago I would have gladly paid her trumped up coat check charge. I sit in the shadows sipping a Jameson and scribbling words like mad. I fear the allure of writing on alcohol but oh my good god is it great. Honesty even onto myself in a way I'd like to see more often. Mr. Kennex shows up an hour before his set and we chat about this and that.

I get up do some dancing, dance with a few other peoples, and polish off another whiskey before settling up my tab with the bar tender. I step out to talk with the promoter and then step back into a bouncer who is less then friendly. We go back and forth about flyers and his unimportant job. He calls me chief a bunch, I lead him round in circles with the shrapnel of my tongue, and it's not long before I'm escorted out of the venue. I hear the faint playing of spanish music, the smell of salsa is the last thing I remember, and I'm so happy to know I'll be starting my own Friday night soon enough :D

Saturday is a special day...The liquid triangle meets up. Kai has a Phd in Digitz and he invites Tommy and myself to a private seminar. I learn some new drills while watching the sun slink away for the day. Coldness comes on quick so we return to Kai's place to pump out beats and dance. It's been remarkable coming into this dance and coming up with new motions these past two years. We all love our dance and each other more then my words will be able to describe. I think from the love and respect will come a great deal of positivity. All my liquid comrades...None of us brag and boast about who they can roast. We just truly enjoy the dance and figuring out how to push it further. This year will be me giving all I can to a dance that has given me so much and a friend who has given me everything I thought I was previously missing from my life.

We take a time out from the dancing to go check out "Alice & Wonderland". Aside from the obnoxious girls sitting next to us and the fact that we had to sit in the front row it was an amazing show. The story was told beautifully and I enjoyed Johnny Depps performance. However during the last ten minutes or so of the movie the urge to dance escalated and I couldn't wait to be out and back at Kai guys place.

We get back and instantly pick up where we left off. A few minutes in though I start to feel really sick, like gunshots are going off in my gut, and I head out to the gas station for some relief. On my way back, I stumble across what would be the first of two pairs of glasses found laying about on the street. Possibly this trip was all about what I need to see? HAhaHA who knows but I quickly figure out what I'm going to do with these very nice newish looking designer shades. I get back to Kai's my stomach starts to settle down and we all do a bit of filming with the nice nice. Its not soon after we get done shooting some things that Tommy and I are on our way to the windy.

I think about a lot of things as I head out to do some promotions for "Leprechaun Disco". I think about where I'm going, where I've been, and what it means to move with this much purpose. The pressure I feel these days is immense and I think I carry it well. It'll only be building over these next few months but I think life has prepared me for this very task I'm taking on. Plus I have some of the greatest friends in the world to help lighten the load.

Her and I converse on the phone for a bit...she's trying to put her night together @ 2 a.m. HAHAHAHAhaAH! I try to convince her to stay in, let me bring over a bottle of wine, and will defeat her ever growing pile of laundry. She says that can be done on any night, definitely not a Saturday, but I get the feeling that were no where near that type of evening yet.

Tommy and I show up and hour or so to late for the "Smooth Agent" Loft party on the south side so we peal out towards UpsideDown Town to meet up with our rave family. Everyone is there and seems to be in great spirits. We take to the party, then take to some dancing, and I'm really digging the spot. It's suppose to go till like 9 in the morning so I'm pumped. I shed my possessions and start passing some flyers out and telling people about everything were doing for "Leprechaun Disco" next week.

She comes into view, those cheeks, and a smile stretching sly like the Cheshire cats. We exchange a few words and a hug, she says she has to use the bathroom. As she walks away I talk to the security guard about her. He's not just any security guard, him and I share a pretty hilarious story, well actually after this evening, two hilarious stories, but I digress. I talk to him about how I'm a fairly grown man, 27 going on 28, and how that girl gives me crazy butterflies. He smiles says "She's beautiful and that seems to be a rare feeling to find when you get older" I tell him if you think her physique is amazing take a walk around her mind :D

I dip off into the darkness to smoke a bowl with one of the cooler Tom's I know. Not the coolest one keep in mind but he's quickly climbing the ranks. Definitely top 3 in Chicago if you ask me. I go to spark it up when a flash light sweeps over the party and stops on me. Chicago's finest and for the second month in a row the plain to the whitest ends up in cuffs. I'm able to ditch the weed I have on me as they are dragging me about the party. What's really funny is they aren't watching me at all and I could have easily ditched my piece as well but I hold onto it and save it for a good faith comment in case they go to book me (stupid is).

I'm at the door watching the party dump out...TMY comes by and has the ohhh shit look on his face. SteveO tries to give me his number to call if I need any help. The best was Drakes look as he turned the corner to help with the tear Saddest for me was watching her walk down those stairs and the fright full look that came across her normally pleasant face. The funniest however was adonis say "Ohhh no, you got the wrong guy there, he's a good guy...Ohhh no" with a touch of my face he left the party and I was just smiling about that in the hours that followed.

Like I said this wasn't the first time that this has happened to me. Much like the last time I'm a lot like fuck it and begin beat boxing. Started chopping up this track TMY was bumping at Kai's place earlier. My detaining officer doesn't seem to mind and for the most part shes a real sweet women. I save the quirky questions and let her do her job.

Soon enough (30mins after my cuffing), the sergeant running the whole detail comes up and starts in with the questions. Why are you guys throwing these kinds of parties? You know you should have shut it down at 2? (as if I'm somehow responsible for the party) Then he see's my Air Force jacket..."Is this actually yours?" I tell him yes and how I served 6 years in the United States Air Force. "Then why the fuck are you at a rave smoking weed?" I explain how weed is sort of like my Ritalin or Adderall...except ya know...with out all the crazy harmful side effects. He looks me up and down, there is a sort of disgust that I don't appreciate, and he starts in with his final comments. "These parties are illegal and you all could have gotten in a lot more trouble. I could have called in a couple of patty wagons and backed them up to the entrance. One by one you and your little friends would have been carted down to the station." I nod and don't have the stones to tell him....

...It's the fact that they are illegal that gets some of us off. Ohh and I'd love to see you try to arrest 150 people all at the same time by funneling them into a truck. He's a nice enough cop (whatever that means) and I'm glad to be released from my silver bracelets. I take to the windy city streets adrenaline peaked...PEAKED!!! No jacket on or anything I walk towards the Mcdonalds where TMY said he'll come back by to scoop me up. This car full of kids not a block away roll down there window and say...
"DUDE! do you know where we can get anymore beans." I look behind me at the four squad cars and I just let them fucking have it. RETARDED!!! It's gota be almost 5 in the morning not to mention the overwhelming presence of authority. CALL IT A NIGHT!!! They seem startled by my enthuisiastic concern for their well being and I dip across the street. I give her a quick ring to calm that look on her face and she sounds instantly calmed. She does a hilarious re-telling of the accounts from her perspective and it gets me to chuckle...i'm coming to find she's a natural at that.

Once I send out some texts and what not I realize my heart is still pumping. So I do what I do best...Pop in my phones and get to dancing on the corner. :D If they can't take a joke fuck's saturday night I've been stripped of all illegal substances and it's my right to dance and dance I do.

TMY is the man...A mighty man with liquids weapons you dare not engage. He's sort of my partner in crime. The dude always down to hit up a party and dance. He's friendly and makes Switzerland seem confrontational. Ask about him...Tommy, Tommy Gunz, FBT, and all the other names he might have...they all lead back to the same conclusion. He's a chill ass dude who does whatever is within his power to help his friend. Oh and he loves Bacon!!!

So in his car the first song he plays is the very song I was beat boxing...AHHAHAAHA...with friends like these the thieves seem like gnats.

Eventually we get to HQ and the gang is all there. Everyone is put at ease to see me not in cuffs and I begin the many re tellings of what happened. Highlights include...Lindsey slipping me an energy crystal into my front pocket as I'm being detained and held by an officer. She tells me it's for good luck...the look the officer gives me is one of..."WTF!!! did she just really put something on him." I quickly fumbled with words to make sure to not get Lindsey or myself in anymore trouble. Ohhhh man I'm gona hold onto that stone FOREVER!!! hahahahah! LUCK!!! Holy gets funnier every time I hear that awful word.

The day following this one I'm suppose to be meeting one of my most favorite womens in the world for her born day. Wouldn't you know it...everyone is trying to get me fucked up. It takes a lot of willpower and an air mattress to get me to say know. However I stay up till like 10AM and kick it for Melinda's B-day. I bring back some twizzlers (for her I guess, she loves red ropes but I got the instinctual order 1/2 right), water, arizonas (they b a dollar yo), and a big ass box of dunkin mini's. Once again my safe haven, HQ, is just what the doctor ordered, and I'm glad to have these great peoples in my life.

I catch a shower and a couple of hours on the air mattress. Then the mattress gets sold and deflated while I'm sleeping on it. I guess i wake up and shuffle over to the left and quietly drift back to sleep for a few hours. I wake up and kick it with the remaining cast of characters at the crib. Tom, Randy, Rachel, and Melinda...some kitty goes around and were all sort of entertained by Tom's stories. I like his mannerisms the most, large and sweeping; always egging you on for the next few syllables. He's good peoples and I'm looking forward to Leprechaun Disco on Saturday.

I clear my throat and I give her a call...
...I had asked her to come out to dinner with me. She said to give her a call and see where she was at. Much to my surprise it's a yes and she tells me where I can pick her up. I spring to much life...just hyped and I bounce about the walls of HQ. I make a mental list of things I have to do and gush un controllably about how fantastic I find my friend. My friends are happy for me because sadly they've seen me wandering round heart on sleeve getting thrashed about by my own hopes and dreams.

So I pick her up and she smells Fantamazing with looks to match. I don't dare actually write what took place or how it made me feel. Her eyes are bound to graze these words and I fear I've given her enough ammunition. Just a great dinner, amazing dialog, and a quick but very entertaining show at second city. Here's to hoping...reflection...who'd a knew...not me...................but i'll say this...
The butterflys are fantastic and her philosophies are divine.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

The heartbreak that is February prt4

The month comes crashing to a halt...Grinding...the cold covers the city like hockey rink table cloth. This does little to sway me from my machinations and I trudge through this week with the theory I've had every winter.

"When it get's cold everyone hibernates and hustles at half speed. Not me, I double my efforts, and catch ya'll slipping come spring time."

So I make my way through the week with grace and ease. Turn in a video editing project at the deadline and I'm pleased with how my skills are progressing in that class in such a short time. Thinking possibly just maybe technology isn't that bad.

Thursday, I was suppose to hit up this open mic, and do somethings in the burbs but I get a call from a long lost fair weather friend. She informs me that herself and a dancer I don't really care for will be coming into Chicago for a few nights and I should come get down with them. So against my better judgement I rally up the troops and I head out to the city one evening early. The dancer I don't really care for sort of speaks out against my most favorite dance style. So I made sure to bring one of the best of said style out with me to the "Butterfly Social" lounge on Thursday evening. I also gather up Chicago's very own, Tonic and Barberick who recently shot a great documentary with me (see it NOW!!!). So it's Mr. Distortion, Tonic, Barberick, and the very lovable combo of D-skreet & Purple chillen with me @ the lounge. DJ Marcus Shadden shows up shortly after us and begins playing some of my favorite house jams.

Marcus is a hustler's hustler and honest as all get out to boot. The dude has only been living in Chicago a few years and has already has some of the best nights in the club scene. Aside from that he's an amazing producer, painter, dancer, and just all around exceptional human being. Mr. Shadden thanks so much for taking care of us as you always do and thanks for everything you continue to do.

The night ticks away and it becomes clear the dancers who told me to come out won't be showing up. It's all good, I got down with some great peoples, heard some amazing tunes, and didn't have to talk sideways to a single person. I really wanted to watch Distortion trace the fuck out of this loud mouthed hoe though...but...ya know...theres definitely time.

So, Distortion and I pack it up and head back to AwesomeHQ. He begins making the pork chop surprise thing and I start baking a pan of brownies. Sleep catches up to me really fast and I pass out watching "The One" with JetLi.

I wake in the morning worried about burnt brownies and come to find Scott saved the day & the brownies. The day from there on out for the most part will not be in this post. I'm doing a full write up on the day a proper right up, that goes along with this video I just made a few days back. Not to much heart break in that day...Actually...A huge rebuilding of my most menacing muscle.

Like the beatles said..."And I saw her standing there." Except in this context she's 26 and she was on stage looking like hope hopped up on salvation for a weary mind. I don't mind, take your time, just know, I'd like to talk with you like...ummm all the time. HAHA!

So I'll skip to saturday...truly the most heartbreaking day out of this entire month. There is a ton of scrambling that is going on, running here's and there's, but it's all to get ready for this dance workshop I was hosting with my good buddy D-skreet.

Leading up to the workshop I got a great response on line and had some friends from the offline world that said they would come through and support. So I get to the studio 15 minutes early to just crash face first into failure. Now, those that attended wouldn't agree at all, but I really was hoping from what people had been telling me that we'd have @ least 15 students (facebook said 32(YOU LIED FACEBOOK!!!)). I'm trying to raise money for my conference but most importantly. I was trying to get money in one of the most remarkable dancers pockets that I've had the honor of getting down with.

David is dopeness that always is in dance mode and he's truly ahead of the curve in so many ways. However it seems like people say they are going to give him money. Or he should be getting paid to do something and it just doesn't happen. Times are tuff on us all and I just don't want to see that erode my friends amazing dance talent (like it ever would).

Thanks to the people who did come out and support we broke even on renting the spot and I came out of pocket a little bit to get my man some dough. On the really real though...the realest of reals. If you tell me something, please do it, and if you can't do it....Just let me know, text, email, phonecall, smoke signals, pigeon carrier, and the list goes on. Because it was a moment of defeat I needed to not feel and I'm not saying names and I'm not pointing fingers!

AHHAHAHAA! with that being said...will be hosting dance workshops for all the months leading up to the conference. I know those that said they would be there will be there eventually. You have to start somewhere and we had a great group of folks show up and support something at its earliest stages. So, it was gut wrenching but not nearly as bad as....

...walking into that damn roller rink and having to pay 15 bucks!!! yikes!!! I watched my friends do there thing but like yikes, the sound was awful, and there was next to no one there. I heard after 11 they were charging 20 bucks...WTF!!! I remember hearing everyone bitch about juggernaut being 20bucks. Let me say, because i want to say...You should get what the hell you pay for. I went to the congress and felt like the experience warranted the cover charge. I left the roller rink wanting to strangle some promoters...but all of that washed away when she shoved into me.

Yeah, so, we bumped into each other the night before, and it topped off one of the most memorable days of my life. So...oddly enough...we chilled out at the venue where I first came to realize the magnificent mind that she has. This one, my fellow readers, is the type...the type to cut through your strife with a hot knife and keep you smiling through the night...all the way till like 9:30 in the morning. She loses herself in music in the most magnificent way and has compassion that I contradicts my very ethics. That right there, scares the shit out of me, but I'll be damned if she doesn't test my wits in a wonderful way. So I put in the time, start the journey into the mysterious Bermuda triangle known to many males as...THE FRIEND ZONE.

Fuck it!
The month was wild...Lost a great friend, I MEAN A GREAT FRIEND!!!
Got my hopes up and had them speared about by the careless words of peoples that can't afford to care about the things I do as much as I do.
Laughed my ass off with some amazing friends.
Danced till my body ached.
cried the things I haven't cried about in YEARS to the only person I think I can trust those things with.
...AND ya know what, I'm ready to win that million dollars in March.

I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!! If your reading this I love you!!! Seriously, I'd still be writing even if you weren't ;) but man! it feels good to know some people troll my life. Yeah even you Ken :D If you are reading this click the little follow button on the right, so I know who I'm writing to.

Peace friends...See ya next month.