Where we land

So the past week here has been a ruff one, I've been visited by darkness, and I struggle greatly with it all.  Love is a tricky train and I keep pumping coal into the engine.  Take me from what I've known and into what I've always hoped.  It's like the light at the end of the tunnel will absorb every fear, broken promise, and muddled truth.  Absolution isn't waiting for you to swing by and pick it up.  It's placed high up on that perch, waiting for you to climb and truly show your worth.  So tired, over inspired, and all to comfortable walking that wire.  I smile through it all but some mornings when I wake I just want to lay back down, dream of when it first began and know better this time.

Nothing really changes, for those of us that love, and know what it means to give control over to another soul...how on earth do we forget the impression they leave?  It's a constant reminder, how we aren't good enough or weren't worth working through things with, and as another winter creeps in I feel the chill hardening my skin.  So many lives I tried to touch, so many souls, crying...Do you remember the various times you wept in my arms, I do...and the bleeding heart foolish enough to try and save them all.  I guess it could be worse, or to quote, "worse things have happened to better people" and I don't mind rolling around in the shit.  Grew through it, smile most of the time, and brighter then those fake Hollywood teeth they teach us to reach.

The past week has been a fierce roller coaster of introspection, stumbling over hesitation, and for some reason getting away from the care free creature I love to be.  It's good though, not all things sunshine and rainbows, and I imagine over these travels a lot will come to the surface.  It's just funny though, the amount of misinformation that circulates, and how most people don't really ever care to go towards the source(s).  I wonder why I wonder why and I'm just happy that these days I no longer cry.  Seems to be a pattern in my pride, so this go round I'll give that some dismantling, and see what I look like on the other side.

Seems like smiling is the theme, nah what I mean?  It's amazing what you can do with the power of a smile, how you can connect with a stranger, or laugh off the most awkward unraveling.  I've recently been walking by strangers on city streets and pointing towards their feet.  As I point I stop and say...
"Whoop's, looks like you dropped your smile..."
And like magic, usually, a smile forms across their face, which allows me to say...
"Guess not, maybe it's for someone else...have a great day."
The random act of kindness patrol wanders on and with new idea's forming daily!

Good news Minneapolis...TmY just got here :D  Which means it's gona get flowy and oh whoay!

Love your life, the struggle, the strife, and I promise you it'll be alright.

P.s. Much more uplifting post coming soon ;)

Promise of Stress motherfuck all the rest!

...NOW WHAT DO YOU DO?

FUCK YOUR STUFF! Live in store performance

P.O.S is no doubt one of the realist in the indy Hip Hop game and I feel really fortunate to catch his only tour date this year.  One more hour and SMASH!  Enjoy the clip :D

wondrous week one won! pt.2

I wake on Monday to chat with Charlie (StepChild), he's a really great guy, soft spoken, laughs to himself quite a bit, and messes with his cats almost the same way that I do.  We swap stories, life, dance, and what we have in common.  I can tell from our convo that I stand to learn a great deal from him as a community leader.  His chapter in the Zulu nation has become somewhat of a standard and has greatly raised the bar.  Soon enough we are shopping for tasty eats at a cub foods...come again...yes that's right Cub Foods.  Haven't shopped at one of those since I was a child and maybe it's fitting to be back where it all began.  Except this time, going for whole wheat pasta's, fresh produce, and some delicious garlic hummus.  I'm not bragging, just marveling at the progression of it all, and noting (between the lines) what still needs to be seen.

The Condo is hard wood floors, neat little cubbies for organizational sake, a beautiful 2nd story porch, training dummy, and littered with motivational sayings all about the space.  Two huge book cases, self help titles, martial arts manuals, philosophy, and even some Calvin and Hobbes.  Tucked away in various reaches of the condo are cat contraptions, these make me even more jealous that I am not a cat, and I find yet another example of how amazing their lives are.  Not a TV in the house but there is some super fast internet connectivity which I'm writing to you from.

Monday evening puts me in an extremely prodigious dance studio in the heart of downtown Minneapolis.  Amy teaches a Monday night class, she's allowing me to sub for her the following week, and I wanted to come through the week before so as to meet some of the students.  The ceilings in this place are AMAZING!  The whole building is phenomenal and carries with it an old mystique.  This will be the second time I've taught in Minneapolis and once again I'm just floored by the studio space.

I kick it with her class, then head back with her to my previous home base, and help her pack.  This road warrior (AMY) has a flight to catch at four in the morning but she wants to go out and get down at a new Monday night spot.  So we head to Uptown, link up with a grip of sick dancers (mostly those of the foot work variety), and begin to boogie.  The vibe is tight, everyone shares openly, and you can  tell a lot of these dancers have known one another for a long while.  The music is a mix of house, soul, and occasionally some funk.  The mood is, as if Sunday just lapsed over and Monday actually won't be coming for quite sometime.  We close it down and I ride back with Charlie to the Zulu lair.

My routine quickly becomes, AS MUCH STRETCHING AS POSSIBLE, and increasing my strength with all my meditative practices.  It's nice to be in a calming environment, I loved where I was living before, but I don't think I was fully aware till Allan said "living in a construction site"...that I in fact was living in a very chaotic atmosphere.  The contrast is intense and with it comes more insight into the things I'm working very hard to improve in myself.  We bounce convo's off one another, he looks out over his balcony, smoking from his vapor machine (e-cig), and keeping a neighborly watch over his block.  

The blue nisle is my end destination for Tuesday night, they host an experimental open mic there and I've been told it's a good time.  So I sit at a near by coffee shop, sip gunpowder green tea, listen to tunes, and write in my notebook.  After the third cup I decide to venture out on what is suppose to be a thirty minute walk.  I make a left when I should have made a right and end up walking very very in the wrong direction.  This would have made me mad, except, it's beautiful out, I'm slanging some sick shapes, taking in a really nice neighborhood, and like always have left myself plenty of time to make my end destination.  I trek back the way I came, cross some streets, one being Lyndale, and the others not appearing in the titles of Atmosphere songs.  I get to the open mic, a little winded, calves sore, but early and still jacked from all that green tea.

The spot is DOPE!  The entire night revolves around a revolving soul band and they play back up to the performers.  There were some really entertaining folks there, Ms. Pearl from the youth out reach program DD helps at is there, and she lets me use her phone to get in touch with Charlie.  What cracks me up is, I enter charlies number, hit send, and "Step Child" pops up on the caller ID.  I think to myself, small world, smaller city, and this family is probably much tighter then I could have known.  After some spoken word performances, a blues man with an orange bandanna, down right awful MC's, I get my 4 minutes to shine, and do my best with it.  Never had a band behind me and I decide to ask...

"Do you think you guys could help me feel like "Black Thought" and we could get on some Root's type shit?"

To which they all smile and we set off on a 5 minute freestyle bliss session.  Not to many peoples in the room but the response I get is plenty warm.

I spend the rest of the week, cooking for my amazing hosts, sparring with Charlie, much more stretching, rolling over this giant foam contraption that has been rolling out a lot of my kinks, and smoothing me out into the elastic badass I once use to be.  Wednesday night we head out to a large session, in the basement of a church, and when I say large I mean LARGE!  I've never seen anything like it...there are at least 5 different bboy crews sharing space and then in another part a large grip of poppers.  I session with the poppers for the most part and get to battle some really talented dancers.  All of them amazing with their individual styles and up n comers within the Midwest funkstyles scene.  Highlight for me was battling the newly turned 21year old rhematic, this kid is fresh, and it was an honor to exchange with him.

Thursday comes, I'm given a red shiny bike to peddle around the city with, and my knees are above the handle bars.  Beggers, choosers, and all the things I wouldn't dream to be.  I make it work and meet up with Dave in downtown.  I'm digging getting to know his outreach members, they even set up for me to battle one of the local youth dancers on a corner Friday night, and it feels like the hits keep coming.  All to soon though, I'm peddling over and through hills.  Inhaling falls crisp comforts hunting out a comedy open mic and hoping to make some people laugh with my weeks worth of observations.

Lock the bike, sign myself up, and take to making a new friend.  Her name is Patricia, she was dinning by her self, reading a New York Times article on food, and wearing a swanky pair of cat classes.  She has intricate inkings all along her arms and offers me a slice of Thai inspired pizza.  It's delicious, our conversation enlightened but sadly cut short by what I came to do.  I'm two for two in the comedy open mic realm of Minneapolis as the host of the open mic tells me.  Seems like I intuitively found two of the funnest venues to test out new material as a comic in Minneapolis.  The talent is extremely high in the room and I started to feel a bit nervous.  I go up with a loose set in mind and do my best.  Definitely got a few good laughs but overall I know there is much work to be done in this arena of my life and I can't wait to have some solid break through's.

Unlock the bike, head home, passing by a women with a brilliantly defiant gaze, and shredding my ears to some Grimblee.  I replay the week over and over in my head...amazed...it's only been seven days.  I'll keep em coming if you keep reading...oh...and this is interactive...so make some suggestions.  Feel free to help me choose the adventure and enrich this already alarmingly amazing experience.

PEACE!  

Wondrous week one won! pt.1

Thawing out from a hilarious bike ride, sipping some tasty new type of whiskey I've never known, and putting together the intense week I've just gone through.  The people, the cast, of conscious characters I'm cutting it up with are marvelous, and two to really note are as followed.

Stepchild & AnnieUp:
I've been living in their homestead for the past five days and have never known generosity like theirs.  Veteran dancers, community leaders, ZULU Nation, and owners of two hilarious kitties.  They opened their doors to me with warmth and trust that mirrors how I hope more people learn to be.  As of right now, Annie is house sitting somewhere, and Step is with his crew repping hard in Chicago (ironic, yes please).  Meanwhile, I play my favorite cuts from "Babel", sip this spiced brew, and look after the things they love most.

"Ozone" (kitty #1) stalks me as I type, a tasty pizza cooks in the oven, and I flip through the blood red bound book of secrets.  It's been my road manual, where I keep the deets, all the inside jokes I hope to turn into jem's later, and every word I won't dare share with the likes of YOU!  :P

To pick up where I left off...
...Amy is the true definition of a dance hustler!  That women puts it in and I hope to in the coming weeks get a full interview of her.  I'd really love to write an entire piece about her and help her branch out even further.  Really enjoy having so many strong amazing women in my life, sometimes can't believe all the insanely talented folks I know, and look forward to all the future projects we will put together.

Any rate...
Finally got to experience the MOA...MALL OF AMERICA...and America it was!  I think somewhere around an hour walking, just after seeing the third "lids" store, and wiggling by gaggles of childhood obesity do I finally really begin to self deprecate.  We are so vein, me too...me too but it's definitely harder to avoid that fact in a super mall, with it's own theme park (water RIDES!), various food courts, bowling alley, multi-plex, and AQUARIUM!  So, before the spiraling could become to much in my own head I bought a ticket to see a movie, and was rode that wave of instant gratification all the way to a hilarious ending.  7 psychopaths! See it! Tell me what you thought...and NOW! 
After the movie I'm out of dodge before and would be slob can snap video of the dazzling dance my digits do.  I purchase a ticket for the "Light Rail", proceed to an available seat, and open up Mr. Hitchens delightful novel on how "Religion Poisons EVERTHING" and away we go.  It isn't until a few stops that I realize, I didn't stamp my ticket, and it doesn't seem like there are any conductors.  So I turn to the young man next to me and ask him if he bought a ticket.  To which he replies yes and then I ask...why?  He says they have camera's and sometimes people will come on and check tickets for the whole car.  I tell him, he's a good man and probably doesn't enjoy confrontation.  I'm flabbergasted (also glad I got to use the word), I rode from the furthest point one direction and got off two stops before the furthest direction in the other.  NO ONE CHECKED MY TICKET!!!  To help you understand the city I'm traveling through right now, they have public transportation that works off the "honor system", and people line up to pay.  What the hell, I'm in good spirits, it's cheaper, cleaner, and safer then the CTA...I'll pay along too guys.
Next stop!  The MetroDome, home to those NFC greats the Vikings, and lucky for them I have a full bladder.  I walk up to the grounds, look around, see no security, and continue on ward to the first pillar I see.  There is a camera, I turn my back, which has my Bears back pack on, and let loose a warm stream of urine.  I can only imagine what the replay on that looks like, as I scurry away cackling, Bears logo trailing off in the distance...

Damn...Burned the pizza a little bit...Ohhh these distractions!

From there, I walk about the city, taking in the many corners, jibbing with an old drunk blues man, and watching a cigarette sale go down that looked a lot like a drug deal.  This is where we've gone and where we will continue as people.  I head to "the Underground Comedy Show" on 7 corners and put my name in to tell some jokes.  I meet a young aspiring comic named "Zain", we begin the back, the forth, and all over some delicious corn dogs and totts.  He's just moved here from Indy and really isn't sure what comes next.  Just looking for a fresh start and a good place to express his art.  So gifted!  I've been hitting up comedy open mics quite a bit this year and this guy understands what it takes.  Set them up, knock em down, a full drawn out battle plan, and ton's of ethnic humor.  The room is warm, inviting, and it seems like most people draw some laughs.  All n all I love the grassroots love that I'm seeing in Minneapolis and I must study more to steal a little of that goodness for Chicago.

All to soon Amy is scooping me up, she's done with rehearsal, and now wants to go out and dance.  So after a pit stop home, we head out to this sick loft party in downtown, and I'm feeling especially V.I.P.  Some great dancers, free drinks, and a WIDE variety of music.  Trap, Samba, Soul, HipHop, Funk, and of course Prince.  I put Prince as his own genre because in Minneapolis it only rains Purple.  Rugs are cut and somewhere around 3 A.m. enough is enough.  I'm starting to wonder if I can keep pace...back to back action packed days. 

Next day, we sleep a little bit but eventually meet up with Amy's good friend Lisa whose just come back from NY.  Sometime is spent in a silly store, the gurls contemplate ice cream, and I see how many ways there are to rotate this new shape I've come across.  Dancin Dave in supreme serendipitous fashion get's dropped off outside across the street from the store that we happen to be walking out of.  I believe the conversation with his lady friend went something like...
"Well where do you want me to drop you off at?"
"I don't care! Fuck it, I'll just get out here and figure it out."
...So he informs us, because him and his ride were fighting they missed their turn.  This made them end up heading south, it made them fight even more and finally Dave just got out of the car.  His hope was to have us come scoop him with Amy's car but life as per usual knew exactly what it was doing.  The plan for the night becomes, infiltration of a rather large Zombie Pub Crawl but as Zombie hunters.  This is only to amuse ourselves, kill time (and zombies), and find out where best to boogie.  I love getting down with Dave, he's a mentor me in dance, and just an overall phenomenal master of his craft.  Once again! BLESSED! To call so many talented artists friend!  We settle on a place called "honey", walk more, drink many sips from our bottle of whiskey, and discuss what it is people can do to battle back against this unspoken war on the poor.  All the while I'm wearing a giant black afro and wielding a sweet plastic axe (complete with red gore splashed on the blade(Pics to follow)).  We get up, we get down, and the DJ is hitting a lot of favorites.  Playing to everyone but something tells me, he's paying special attention to two zombie hunters who are gettin DOoooWWwWwWeeeeeennNNNn!  It's a goodnight, up until we turn into a McDonald's...drunk, hungry, and out voted I eat.....don't judge me...Tommy.

I spend the morning very much hung over, packing up my things, and sharing jokes with two lively souls.  All to soon, I'm heading back down town, and Dave will continue to push our existential conversations into cunning corners.  I value my good friend and in him find a conscious adversary of similar goals but much more action then those before.  He's taken a back seat in the dance community he once so feverishly competed in, built, and spread.  All in the hopes to find a better means to put his time on this earth to proper use.  Watching him interact with people on the street of Minneapolis is something of an inspiration in and of it's self.  He works with a youth outreach program and it would seem does a damn good job.  People trust him, he speaks the lingo, and see's the furnace rumbling long before it can blow.  Talk it but if you want to see someone walk it head to 7th and Nicollette in Minneapolis.  I pop in, peep the Vikings demise, and all to soon I'm hoping that silly little light rail again.  On Sunday nights dancers come together from various parts of the twin cities and session.  It's an extremely informative session for me, I watch the way it all comes together, and already start to see some amazing idea's to play with in my own city.  They are a tight nit group and they welcome me in as one of their own.  I set up some battles for while I'm in town and try to drum up interest in my own workshop.  When all the dance moves have been properly moved, I'm handed off into the care of the loving individuals I intro'd at the top, and we go out for some tasty mexican eats.  Our waiter is super sassy but exceptionally snappy...to me...that's the best combo.  All to soon I find myself looking up at a new ceiling, feeling.................fortunate, free, and fulfilled!

I've been writing for a few hours now, I need to add pictures, call it a night and write part two tomorrow.  Be well friends, leave comments, questions, and what not bellow.  Please help spread my blog, get other people to read along, and any other form of promotion you can come up with :D

Peace n Flowz
P.W.T

Half way through with day1

Zomg!
Crash landed in the beautiful twin cities sometime around 7in the AM and I'm still going.  This city is amazing and is on fire with all the changing tree's.  Everywhere I go there are burst of burnt red, orange, and vibrant yellows.  Friendly people, talking with one another, helping me find things, and every moment thus far has been wonderful.


Amy picked me up around 11 this morning, got me nice and settled in at her place. I grabbed some face paint, a whistle. Top hat, white gloves, and I've been performing ever since.  Have definitely bursted into a few buildings a sprayed the play with wtf sauce, blew the whistle, and then gone.

Over a delicious bagel, amy and I set up times for work shops.  Ill be subbing for her at least twice and hopefully hosting two of my own workshops.  Extra super sauce hoping to get Mr. Vonflowingstuff up here for the last one, so we can teach, cypher with dope poppers, and rage with Mr. Bill.
Right now I sit in the back of a giant circus, people balancing on neon balls, kids running up walls from trampoline bursts, unicycles scooting about furiously, and all types of acrobatics.  This place is sooooo ILL! Hooray life!
Just checking in to catch my breath, document the baby steps, and say THANK YOU!  So many dreams coming true in the months to come, I am the fortunate son, and I feel like this life has just begun.
Hope you enjoy some of the pictures, please feel free to comment on things and stuff.

Love & gratitude

Sal Paradise reborn ;D

Gone!

Said the good-byes, didn't cry, and cleaned up after myself...best you can in an evolving construction site.

"out with the old in with the new"

Heard that, looked around, and see so much new all around the space.  Within the past two months the warehouse has really started to come alive.  Now with Allan being added to the mix I can only imagine just how much more that place will explode.  I feel so grateful to have shared space with so many dynamic people and none of us ended up killing the other :D

My pack is packed, my bag is wrapped, and my cunning is building.  As I swung the green "C" bag over my shoulder I couldn't help but here the words "careful what you wish for" as the weight really came pulling me down.  HAhHAhHa!  Never been known to do things the "easy" way and I don't plan on starting now.

Swapped life stories with one of my more favorite female friends and we shared perspectives on the passing years.  Bliss was the subject at hand and all I hope for her to do is find it!  Well, to be frank, that's all I really want for anyone, past, present, and those to come in my journeys.  Find what moves you, what soothes you, and what brings you to your highest heights.  Love thy self and have a healthy fear of God.

If you see me along side the road, scoop me up and take me somewhere interesting.  If you are bored, check in here from week to week...it's about to get really interesting!

NEXT STOP MINNEAPOLIS!!!

FDC...Go!

The only real Choice we have to make

I feel a bit numb at this moment...

...So I grace these keys with what will be. 

SUICIDE

...If you are still alive then you haven't done it right

if you slowly kill yourself in a million other ways, enjoy the ride

Suffering, for all it's worth isn't so bad, when I continually find myself running into people that just want to die, and for some reason feel safe enough to share that longing with me.  In the past few years, I've had a lot of friends leave this experience on their own accord, and I have many more that hide their tears from the general public.  Some I was so close to ground zero when the bomb went off I still feel as if the base of my spirit is fragile and weak.  Others I was removed from by many years and can't wrap my brain around why they didn't reach out to me.

I don't judge at this point but there once was a time.

I was exiting middle school, dating an older girl, she was long flowing strands of blonde, manic depressive, and very much centering her being around me.  When I tried to cut the chord she spoke of ending her life and I remember telling her I wouldn't come to her funeral or visit her grave.  2 1/2 years later a classmate of mine with the same name as mine decided to walk along a train line and left all us asking why.  True to form, I didn't go, and got a lot of flack from my classmates.  I just didn't get it...My life was shit at the time, poor, abused, and an obscure outcast that rarely fit in with the "norm".  I found comfort in my random adventures, the few people who did understand me and the thought that someday this would all make sense.

A few years ago, an artistic acquaintance of mine stepped into traffic on 94 and was struck dead by a bus coming from Mississippi.  At the time I was a rather influential person, working with him and many of his friends in the Chicago rave scene.  One in particular was his best friend and I broke my promise about suicides to stand shoulder to shoulder with him.  The sorrow that washed over my soul has seeped into my soul from those days finds various pages in my many books and hopefully doesn't pester the person I was trying to protect from it most.

Ghosts!  I see the living dead, I communicate with people who have never lived a real day in their life and tinker on in a meaningless existence.  Far from happiness and only attracting more sorrow into their spheres of influence.  Still though, they are better to those stinging memories of all those that dove off the brink, and never looked back.  They are better if for the only fact that tomorrow is a new day and maybe that little light inside of them they thought extinguished will burst into action.  Haunted no more of all the could have been bullshit that keeps us in the past and free from the could be's that will distract us from enjoying the present.

So yeah, really, I don't judge these days...

...If you are going to do it, I'll miss you, and ya know what maybe I will make it to your service.  Most importantly I'll watch you re-manifest through out my experience and wish you to be at peace.  Much like I do daily, I love you, I adore you, and am nothing without the brilliant reflection you bring to my dream.

Please leave comments about your own experiences with suicide

Please pass this onto anyone just a little to depressed for their own good

Please LOVE YOURSELF MORE AND MORE EVERYDAY!!!!!

hai aya

seated at the right hand of the mother
twice to swallow and be smothered
not a brighter light not another
wings of a humming and oh how sweetly they flutter
swarming me
liberating the
best intentions that have been locked away for years
showing me
glowingly
All the light that will chase far away these unfounded fears
Far we have come and still I see the road to go
I love her so
from her delicate grace
through every vibrant spark of her soul
the way she holds space
is profound and untold
Feathers
a brilliant white explosion
Free falling into the bliss of her positive affirmations
patience
...I'm blessed for all she's bestowed me with
Love & Gratitude
Hope & Good Will
A million praises for the divinity she forever wields
Praise...
...soft, silent, prayer
sister, mother, croon...never hesitate to call, I'll be there.