And all I deem
At this point I live it like poetry
My head full of enormous dreams
And faith in my teams
I build bridges & collect cream
And wait for my turn to breed
I was born with an abundance of faith no matter how many other people come only to take
Getting and eating cake
In the middle of some prolific earthquake
For contentions sake
This is just another apex before another series of follies
All I know is ill be
Ready for the world, the girl, and to deflect the cynical with the vitality found in my curl
Monday, December 26, 2011
Thursday, December 22, 2011
I'm trotting back on the good ole south shore line and I feel cucumber like once again. I swooped in, saved the day, baked some things, cleaned, rubbed, and got a few laughs. I left the place in much better shape then when I had arrived. I also started to turn the key for her, left some ways for her to finish the process, and I can only hope she does the rest.
Sooo much passion! Burning, raging, and overwhelming!
She pushes so damn hard and that in itself brings comfort to an instigator of my capacity. Who knows what will be, the contention I feel comes from not really knowing what any of this is about and gaining more self control.
Her daughters name is Lucy :) can't make that up! We watched somethings, chased persia about, and stuffed our faces. She's an adorable spitting image of her mama...all about those eyes and cheeks! Waiting for the train I shared my insights, my life, and the working pieces of my brain. She shared her hopefulness, gatefulness, and some of the deepest kisses I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.
Blonde, blue, tattoo'd through but none in view
I still have only begun to entertain you
Sweet, fierce, fiery, and young
I enjoy the songs u sung
Boarded the train, smile engrained, and sat down to fully confront my shame. Not much left these days and after missions like this I get a sense there won't b much more ever again. Pulling into millenium station with just enough time to say goodbye to Toni and hello to alice.
This winter will b riddled with opposition which I hope to turn into oppurtunity. I'm so thrilled to be here, so glad that I've found myself ontop of the trash heap once more, and welcome those that think they can to knock me off. Blessed, yes...how about you?
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
These days, I'm wondering why the pendulum rarely swings, and thankful for the consistent steady of my mind. So many amazing possibilities and a mountain of meaningful obstacles to overcome. Putting these pieces of the day finally back together my way. The finished product is definitely tbd but its surely one of love and ultimate devotition.
My job has been rather intense the last two weeks. Its partly the job but also has a bit to do with all the extra living I try to cram in there. 29 n still burning my candle at both ends. The place is a chaotic mess and to boot they place a lot of the blame on the servers. We are trainable, a dime a dozen, and I've noticed how they just start burying people there. The hardest part still has to be some of my co-workers and the downright awful attitudes the exude. I'm struggling with staying at this job, all the benifits I'm about to start using would be great but at what cost. I'm going to see what the universe says and keep going with amazing flow I've recently found myself in.
I just got booked to teach in minnieapolis 2nd weekend of january! This is by far the biggest and best thing going on in my life at the moment. Tmy and I will head up there and show them what the liquids are all about. I'm doing two workshops and will teach a variety of things but the end goal is to lay a solid foundation for students to begin manipulating space :P. This visit to the twin cities will hopefully act as a great catalyst to propell our thriving dance scene ot start working a bit closer together. I'm attempting this year to really build some solid bridges between midwest cities nd get some great dancers the recognition they deserve.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Hello reader, friend, former friend, future friend, mentor, student, internet stalker, and the variety of other valant mins tha might come to read this. I welcome you to my world, to my BST so to speak, and hope you'll understand the views expressed here are soley my own.
The title of the post coincides with a T-shirt I wore as a recent prank for an extremely amazing dance event I attended a few weeks back. It was meant to be a clever stab at some behavior experienced the year before at the catalytic event I hosted in my fair saviors arms (talking about Chicago(she's dreamy)). They say don't get mad get even...
...problem is life is cycles, circles, and one good turn deserves another. So bring it on if you feel the need :) I'm all for some "healthy" one ups manship.
Recently in the dance culture I'm heavily a part of there has been a split. Two extremely powerful, intelligent, and resourceful forces have taken there balls to go play elsewhere. What started out as a "joke" on an internet forum quickly erupted into people walking away and not resolving simple philosophical differences. If anyone has been in a break up, watched their parents split up, or all things liking to these scenarios knows what comes next.
DOUBLE THE PRESENTS!!!!!!!
Hahaha...also though, as time labors on, double the commitments, and eventually establishing new allegiances, and etc.
Before I carry on with this rant I would just like to say...
WE ARE STRONGER TOGETHER THEN APART!
I mean that from the bottom of everything that makes me the intense obnoxious extravert you've come to some what know. We are a young dance, with many obstacles ahead of us in the coming years, and it makes no sense for two talented forces to be at ends with one another. Maybe that's life though...eh...the ole yin and the yang, warp n woof, fire n ice, donny n marie, harry n the hendersons...on n on like the stardust that coats our eyes when we slumber.
So, there is a point to all this I'm writing, and I'm getting to it...I hope.
I'm still riding an insane natural high from my experience in Baltimore. I had one of the single most fullfilling weekends as a dancer ever. Shared in a million new memories with a band of heathens I'm proud to call equals. Carved out a firm chunk of my own identity and put it out of reach from the masses. Iritated my elders and hopefully inspired some of the younger heads.
I give you the above highscore total for one reason and one reason only.
NONE OF IT FUCKING MATTERS UNTIL WE CAN ALL SHARE IN THIS!
Sure...the arguement, can, has, will be made...
"But tom no one was excluded from the event, there were plenty of people there that maybe aren't the best of friends, and got along just fine."
What I'm driving at here is, a public conversation took place once, started off as a joke, feelings got upsetted on both sides, and now two of the most signifigant forces in this dance are no longer supporting one another. Seems a little ridiculous but ya know this is me just twiddling my midwest ethic, stuck in the middle, passing his time positively while awaiting heavens guest list. It don't matter, it won't matter, until you two prideful sons of bitches pick up the phones and apologize to the other. Hell! Tell you what, we can broker a signing of the treaty of douchebaggery at my place in Chicago. Which has and will always be neautral territory for this dance while my veins pump this thick crimson I so freely spill into existence.
As I stated at the top, these are my opinions, no collaborations need, and this is my mission. Firstly because there is no way that two men of your power and vision should not be working towards somewhat of a unified goal. Secondly because I love the ever loving shit out of both of you. One for what you've taught me and the other for what your teaching me. Lastly because in the past year I've learned isolation isn't the answer, compromise, understanding, and unity are.
Take this lightly
Get up set
Ill be waiting where the winters snap the hardest of hearts and only those with unwavering dedication find comfort. Many blessings friends, its a great time to be "active" and alive...may you never pick a side ;)
Peace n flow
Before you think about retaliating, settling the score, or any form of "one up's man ship".
Please think about this...
I said I owed you one...this would be one...if you'd like to keep it going I'm all for that. Just know that I do this shit in my sleep and it takes little to no energy. None of this was to ultimately offend anyone, just to make a point, and for me, personally, make things even steven for some of the behavior shown at the Icebreaker I hosted the year previous. So ya know...balls in your court :)
Sidewalk chalked but from the color sticks of tiny little peoples. Nope, its chalked like the cracks in my skin, and this is all due to the impending wnter quickly creeping up. I stride to my ride, this morning ill hop the red line, I've got to meet with Toni, and don't feel like fighting all the green lights of michigan ave.
I started this process a few months ago and am really kicking myself for not going sooner. I tell her what I want to work on and we do. She has the patience of five best friends combined and all without any of that pesky subjectivity. As of recent I've cut my sessions back and I'm only going every other week. Trying to save a little loot, time, and really work the process outside those comforting four walls.
Chris (verb) has moved up here from the south. This is probably one of the best things that could have ever happend. He's a warm hearted person and just wants to slam with us. He'll reignite the fires that have been barely flickering in some of our hearts. Plus we will have our fourth dancer again and hopefully this will bring more stability back to all we hope to achieve. His girlfriend is lovely as well and I can't wait to show them the many marvels of the windy city.
I feel fully rejuvinated and working steadily towards a variety of goals. Grace being what it is, I'm glad it swooped in and I was willing to just go with it. By reading this or the previous posts you'd probably guess my life is sunshine and rainbows. Its far from that and I'm constantly working through the tuffer parts.
My focus wavers rarely and my attack is precise. This humorous road call life bends towards what's right and I oblige my feet with a few more steps. "Don't fail me now" I ramble out and we ease on down.
Monday, December 5, 2011
I wake up, with an interesting text, respond and pass back out. This is at about 6a.m...she said she "wants" me. Ha! Like a cat toy to my razor sharp wit I definitely plan on batting that word round for a bit. I wake again bout 7 and feel extremely refreshed for how little I slept. I'm snuggled under my very large forest green wool thrift store winter coat. 1/2 coat, 1/2 blanket, and all around awesome. It sort of makes me look like a tall skinny silent bob and I'm more the o.k. with this.
I snuggle up with an orange kitty that's thrown onto my temporary bed. As I communicate in muddled meew's to his adorable face I tumble around politely through various memories of the weekend.
Giggling grill cheeses
Tour guiding the mag mile
Honesty of a mending heart
Free popsicles for a den of fiends
Diggity dank loft space
Lovely irish eyes
Fingertips no words needed
Papa was a rolling stone and I very much embody a piece of his soul. I'm inbetween existences again and keeping the faith in your truly above all. I feel like the past few years have been an amazing journey into the unknown that I'm finally touching down from. Bolder but with a softness I never thought i'd be able to comprehend. The man speaking to you right now is a lot of things, mostly whatever judgements you form, but truly humbled.
I gather up the things i'd left there the evening before and the new things that I brought a long for a much needed change of scenary. I pile into their ride, crack jokes, and get dropped off to catch the 77. It's a gloomy day out, for some, but for others it's refreshing. Each droplette that grazes my skin gives me a quick tinge of rejuvination. I just make the bus, talk about timing, and sit down to start writing this. A thought pops into my head about this friend I've bumped into randomly on the bus and anoter time at a target. Five minutes later she is boarding the bus and we're swapping stories of our lives since our last serendipitous collision.
I'm almost getting use to the unexpected, taking to much comforted in unusual, and growing a great appetite for the grand sucker punch awaiting me. A life lived larger then this little device will allow me to write. These are foot notes, mini memories, and living well in plain site for those who maybe think I should be doing otherwise.
Winters coming friends! Stay tuned, prolly be crashing on a couch near you :)