Saturday, March 26, 2011

To Fu this may concern prt2

So it seems the seasons have rushed past fast and at last will cross paths. Whats that thing the man behind the curtain use to say, preparation meets opportunity, or something. I've put in the hours, met your equals, and vibed with a large number of the people you've inspired. I have fire in my eyes, rich thick crimson in my veins, and all the best intentions. I ceased communication with you because I just can't handle the thick apathetic cloak the internet provides cynics. I remember you saying a lot of things about the newer dancers, I remember you pushing your philosophy on the very minds you abandoned, and I remember me to poor to fly out and smash you with mine.

However, here we are, and here I go. Just sort of writing freely, generating my thoughts, gaining more composure then I need, and sharpening those little pieces of silver. Shrapnel you'll be picking out of your psyche for a long while. I come to you as I've already stated with the best of intentions and I'm extremely hopeful the ripples of our exchange will greatly enhance this dance. I don't know you, smoke an mirrors is all I have at this point, but I know enough. You were a driving force in this dance at one point but where are you now. To me, there is a great loss in not having you contributing to this amazing dance, and maybe I'm wrong. However, I've had a feeling, a notion for quite sometime, and you are somewhere in it (no homo). So sir, I bring with me the keys to the city, a fistful of memories to pour on the cypher, and a hard heart un pierce-able by your malice.

See you in a few Fu.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

what does a heart know?

The heart knows not what it wants, it just goes, and goes. No real race, or objective that I can see. Feelings upon feelings, freeing the cold calculating being that tries desperately 2 pin life down bringing sense and reason to the realm of feeling.

So maybe were not all in touch with our emotions and then again the coin flips showing us those that are ruled by them. I know that they are there and I see the way the ravage all my loved ones affairs. A friend of mine spoke to me recently about applying a gentleness towards the inner forgiveness I'm so desperately seeking these days. These lines are a lot of things but definitely a passing on of that advice. Because ultimately...truthfully for me, LIFE, is the greatest teacher of all.

The things we think we want, in time we learn that maybe aren't really what we need, and then eventually end up becoming the things will never truly possess. Instead they will possess us, they will own us, rule us, fuel us, and get our pulses racing something spectacular. I know I'm gushing here, I'm just riding that wave, the heart beats so loud in my chest at this very moment, stirred up by the infinite possibilities of my life, and hoping that I can somehow begin to once again guide it with love. For what life has taught me is when I'm not doing that, I find myself in some dark places, doing deeds, that make desperation seem decent.

A breath of life, a fleck of god, a karmic game filled with know it all snobs. Then we wonder why we weep about all we could have had, should of had, and may never know. In between the tears, I'd just like to apply those that have lived bold, and hope that your able to understand at the end what you truly hold. The heart knows not, the head holds our surroundings to a standard, but ultimately we take the data from both in and produce the story that is our lives.

For those of you who don't know, mines been a crazy roller coaster, chaos goes limp dicked when I'm around, and most of the time I like it that way. Born to burn so beautifully and bright. BORN TO WRITE! and I hope you likes....goodnight :P

Friday, March 4, 2011

A nap before I blast...

Holy hell!

The day was all like BaNG! BOW! PoW! 8% tip, staring contest with some kids, and trying not to smash adults in the face for being unable to choose between ranch and blue cheese. I just worked about seven days in a row..........felt like two full weeks but at the end of it my good friend Kyle showed up at the ole Black n Yellow.

He was the 2nd visitor today...
...From out of no where she sort of floated in. I haven't seen her in about a year and a half. She looks more marvelous then I could have ever remembered. However she talks with a chip I don't remember. Healing, playing super tuff, and all I can help doing is drowning in those soft sea blue eyes. Attempting to keep up with her loud rattling laugh and do my best to not smother a warm situation.

But quickly after she leaves, after the mist rolls through the diner, a sea of hungry families come staggering through, and it's back to all those animated batman words I was typing at the start. Except this time I have someone to train......not sure I did a good job because all I could think about was where I would be tomorrow.

So kyle shows up (sorry) and we peace out from my work. I leave my bike there, yep, I'm that excited, and head back to my newish residence. I do a quick wardrobe change, try to hide my hickey from the mother, and bam! out the door we go. The plan is to hit up this free EDM night, here some tunes, break the ice, and get ready for what will be an extremely fun weekend.

Pizza is eaten, a few drinks are had, and I catch this groove similar to the one I caught on Tuesday night. Things begin clicking, inner monolog goes silent, and it all starts gushing out of me. The best part of it all, is I can feel that smirk that started creeping in a few days ago, stretching my face to where it will be all weekend, and I'm so thankful to be alive.

Some texting, with peeps to lay down the last minutes plans, dance dance dance, TMY tells me about swapping people for people, and I imagine how great it would be to have people on hand. Ya know, sort of like an RPG, you could trade them in and out for particular situations, functions etc... From out of no where this girl comes up to me and informs me that two doors down there is a funk jam going. I bolt! out the door, Kyle must have seen this all happen and keeps pace. I feel bad, but I know there will be good dancers here. I need to smash! I want to get a reaction! I want to step out into whatever I do tomorrow and know that I did it first in front of a group of people who have little to no idea who I am.

Show the ID, step through the doors, and within 3 mins it's on. Two of Tampas finest are there, truly, no sarcasm there. I've grown to respect the dance scene down here and am taking notes for when I move back to Chicago. They've got a lot of great crews, with little to no beef, and a lot of Talent. I get a few "ooooh's" but nothing to really rattle the rib cages. Talk shop for a bit and peace out. Float out I should say and I'm so excited to be going to Tennessee...who'd of thunk.

I have amazing family around me these days, people I love, and admire. However coming from Chicago are friends that fan the flames of my follies. The people I know that have seen me at my best, worst, most twisted, and vulnerable. Some of my equals... Will share ideas, make up new scenarios, inside jokes, and move around the city as if it owed us a good time. I'm elated for the hugs, the high fives, the surprises, the unexpected, the feeling that things don't change but finally in that good way. Soooooo Excited to see YOU!!! and even you too! One for the books and it couldn't have come at a better time.