Had some friends come by the lab early in the week to keep me a float. The money situation was just awful. I get paid by the government on the first of every month for attending school. I am a military veteran currently using (abusing?) his educational benefits. However, they love to screw with those benefits every start of every new semester. They usually try to pin it on me and a failure to do something by a certain date. This semester that would not be the case...Handed everything with dotted I's and criss crossed T's way way waaaaaaaaaay in advance. Still though sitting in my basement apartment broke as shit on the 11th of February. AHhaHAHa! wtf! Work at my job is close to a stand still and I'm pretty sure you are all familiar with the job market these days. I'm a pretty carefree person, tire marks on my back, but a big ass smile usually plastered on my face. Money though does seem to stress me the fuck out......just like everybody else right.
So I finally get paid...on Wednesday and things start looking up. I pay my rent, take my kitty into the Vet, get some food for the fridge, pay back friends, and breath a sigh of relief. I also start thinking about the impending holiday..............actually, it's now passed and I'm still "Pondering" bout that very crazy day.
I call her up, she's drunk, and cracking me up. Whether she's drunk or not she always cracks me up, like side splitting shit, and my abs just might love her more then I do. I start to ask her what she's doing for valentines day and she says she really doesn't have any plans at the moment. So I ask..."wanna be my valentine?" I haven't asked anyone that in a lonnnnnnnnnnnng time, I mean we all know it's a hallmark holiday and blah blah blah. Then again, it's a symbolic day, one centered around love and romance. I couldn't really think of anyone better to spend it with then her, come to think of it, since I realized what she meant to me, it's hard to think about spending time with anyone else......then again, that's sort of the definition of love. Well, real love, the deep cutting kind, that changes you, gets you feeling the world a new....
Time ouT!!! Let me say this...
I'm a deeply passionate person, I love ALL THE TIME, and will continue to. I've been dropped, broken, damaged, crushed, shattered, and much much more all in the name of love. To me though there are many types of love. We the american peoples only have one word for such a profound expression. It's intense really, the things we do in the name of it, the things we let others do to us because of it, and just all the awesome that is littered around the world in the name of it. SO! say what you will about me, or people like me, but we live to love and love again. I've had it before, it left me (i pushed it away?), it's come back for brief visits, and I know I'll have it one day again. When she's around me, it feels like I'm getting closer, but then again great friends have the power to truly make you feel the most loved.
Time IN!!!
So we make plans to spend a fantastic Saturday with our fantastic friend. It's like a threesome but there is no sex involved, everyone keeps their clothes on, there are only two real people, and the only thing that gets fucked is your pupils.
The rest of the week flies by and I find myself @ awesomeHQ gearing up for a friday night. The plans are go to the compound and then head to Cafe Lura. I pack up my car with a great group p of friends that I've collected over this last year. We head out north to meet up with Bit[c]rush to watch him do what he does 2nd best. (www.soundcloud.com/bitcrush) When I get to the door I have to pay 15bucks to get into the party, I'm mad because one I'm promoting for two parties, and two I'm Mcing with my guy. I don't want to make waves so I pay and trudge upstairs to that old familiar scenario. It's not to long till Mr. Crush gets onto do his thing and all are very happy. His set is slamming and I'd like to think were getting the peoples moving. However, right before the end of his set, I guess the place gets raided and one of the local security guards comes walking through as I'm giving this kid some weed to smoke. He see's the exchange, I say "Just smoking some weed dude.", and he says "Oh really!". Grabs me and the young man and drags us like 15ft to a Chicago police officer. We get cuffed, hassled, jerked off through our clothes, and i'm up against the wall going FML!
The irony of this situation is two fold, first, a little more then 24 hours ago I was in court for weed. I got off really light, put on supervision, and as long as I keep out of trouble these next few months I'll go back to having a clean record. The second being, right above us, people are probably huffing nitrous and I'm being detained for 1/2 a gram of weed...WTF! It's my fault though, i thought i was in a safe place for said activities and clearly I was not.
So, I'm hand cuffed next to this total stranger, and not more then a 1/2 an hour before all this I took a pill. AHAHAHAH so now I feel it coming on and all the euphoria that it brings. There is this problem of me being in cuffs though. So I look over to my new neighbor and say..."is it illegal to beat box in cuffs?" He give me a really weird look and I just go into it. AHHAHAHHAHA! The main Sergent comes by us and I ask if I can call down to give my friends my keys. I drove a group of people there and didn't want them to be stranded. He informs me they are not charging me for the pipe and I'll be let go shortly. Ten minutes later, the very sexually confused officer that rubbed me down earlier, comes in and takes the cuffs off. He then says... "My Sergent wants me to book you guys, but I'm going to let you go. You have five minutes to disappear." AHHAHAHA! fucking cops! I say yes sir and dip the fuck out into a crowded street of confused party kids. Wondering, what the hell they paid 15 dollars for, and where the hell is the next party. I gather the troops and we head to Cafe Lura.
I like this club a lot, the ambiance is amazing, and usually the nights I find myself tucked in between those brick and bass the music is fantastic. We all head up there to meet Dottcom (http://soundcloud.com/dottcom) and his lovely lady. There is free eats, cheap cover, and TON'S of WOMP! We get there as Nameloc is going on and we blend in with the peoples to do our liquids. Scott, Tommy, Kai, and I go at it but it isn't long till I hear MC Anti on the mic. I talk with him and the promoter about possibly going back and forth with him. They both say it's o.k. and we proceed to let words ride out intrinsic and free. I have a funny moment on stage, thinking bout how a few minutes earlier I though I was going to jail, and now I'm doing this. I love it, the up's the down's, the screeching grinding of brakes before the crash, and all the sparkling wreckage litter about city streets.
We pack it up and it's back to AwesomeHQ...I walk into the house and my neighbor who I had just shared hand cuffs with is sitting in the front room. We both just start laughing our asses off and I say to him..."How about that bowl". Much smoking is done and many much more mucho dancing is done as well. I drift to sleep as most of you are probably just hitting the snooze button for the first time and wake with just enough time to shower and scoop up my valentine.
She...
.........I've already told you...She is everything and totally snuck the fuck up on me. I really couldn't think of anyone else I wanted to spend this cheesy holiday with. I had plans, then again I had no plans, but I did have options for us. So we head back to AwesomeHQ and bring all our comrades pizza and pop. We then proceed to clean the house and get ready for a very very long night. She, plays with simba, and my heart skips round those walls like never before. Her and I pile into my silver beauty and race towards our first stop of the night. The party was called "Fuck Love2" and YO! the turn out was terrible. Plus for the second time that weekend I had to pay to get into the party. I was suppose to be doing some fundraising for the conference but once I got there I was informed that the person who said it was o.k. really didn't have a say. So it's one of those situations where I don't know who to be mad at but I decide instead to not be mad and just dance.
She...
....Get's a long with everyone and does her thing. Occasionally I catch her staring at me while I dance and I can't tell you how good it feels. Well I mean I just did but it really doesn't begin to scratch the surface. It's like she lends me this confidence I feel I'm missing in my motions. I ask her at one point to dance with me and she sheepishly tries to say no...as if that would stop me. We spin round n round the dance floor till were both dizzy and laugher become our only motion. I pass out flyers for juggernaut, there aren't many people there to pass them out to, but ya know we do what we can. My date and I attached the magnificent tommy to our car ride and head to this dank DIGGITY dank warehouse party going down on the westside.
The music when we first get there is Meh, but the vibe is tight as hell and as I already pointed out the venue is sick! We take to passing out flyers and attempting to raffle off some prizes to raise money for The impending liquid conference. After an hours worth of work, Tommy and I take to dancing, and she takes to making the entire party smile bigger then they thought they could. Soon, my boss shows up, and more flyers are give out through out the party. I have a great time tripping out this group of kids on acid. I don't think they even knew what they were getting into when we first started interacting but by the end of it I know I made some new friends.
I really love my scene (oh wait sorry "our" scene) and I try to do the most good I can within it. However this weekend was a huge let down. I lost a lot of money and whats worse is I lost some respect for people I'm trying to work closely with. Will see what is done to repair those relationships over the next few weeks. I just know I came to the conclusion that the money I need to raise more then likely won't be coming from the Rave scene. It's going to come from me probably getting another job and finding ways to fund raise outside of parties. Sad but true, I've got a few more projects lined up these next two months but after that......I might be taking a step back to see who really wants to help me.
....She....
Yeah yeah, is everything to me, for sure...
I titled these posts the heartbreak that is february way way waaaaaaaay before the heartbreak came. I didn't even know it was going to come but oh WOW did it ever. I'll have to write about that later. for now...the weekend ended like.
We tried to climb up to this dank ass roof I know about to watch the sunrise. It's fucking FREEEZING but she's got her coffee and I got my hot chocolate (but ya know how scott says it). We fail, well I fail, but I have a back up plan and we head off to that. It's amazing!!! Just fucking fantastic, the colors, the sand mixed with snow, and the way our bodies beg for warmth but our eyes just won't allow them to return to the car. A moment I wouldn't trade for any other in the world. Standing there frozen in time with my valentine...the one that will never be mine.
See ya'll next week...Make sure to tell everyone that's anyone about JUGGERNAUT this weekend. It's going to be huge! were going to be deaf! and I just don't want to have to explain to you in person how great it was...bring a friend :D
heartbreakingly beautiful.
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