Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The heartbreak that is February prt3

So I was chilling over at my buddy Kai's house and I was telling him how last months title for my weekly writings was "January Out of a Gunshot" and true to the title January was a crazy month. Non-stop the entire time full throttle and it spilled over into February and distressed wreck. So I told him I had named this months on going posts "The Heartbreak That is February" and true to form it's been an emotional roller coaster. We both laughed and then he suggested that next months title should be "In March I Find a Million Dollars".

There is so much I'm not allowed to write about this week....
....So i'll stick to what I am allowed to write about.

She has this new thing she does, it's usually around 7 in the morning, and I'm usually deep into my sleep. She just starts coming up and rubbing her face on me, meowing, and acting all super cute. My cat is extremely stand offish normally but these past few weeks our bond has been becoming stronger. My theory is she does this because she wants to wake me up, allowing me to catch my REM cycle once more and have those crazy strong intense dreams. Because all week I was walking around pretty lucid, through scenes I'll forever try to imagine in my awake state. I love my cat and our story is what I'm clinging to as I lose more and more of my heart to this wretched month.

She came walking in, looking like fall might have something left to say to me, and everyone wanted her attention. We were at this party, the horsemen, nereida, and lucy. We'd just had a great day at the botanical garden and were now winding down at a party where I was going to win a 100bucks just for doing what I normally do at every party. So long story short...
I picked her up and put her down a bunch and she just kept coming back up to me. The last time I put her down she ran back off into the city early morning streets. About an hour later I take out my blues harp and begin to jam outside this black gate. Within minutes she comes running back up to me circling my feet, just wanting to kick it, and I knew then I was in trouble.

I took her to the vet clinic my brother works at and within a week my pretty snow covered princess was street legal. I had no where to put her at that time, so fortunately for me, my friend Nereida loved her as much as I did and took care of her for a few months. Now, we kick it, watch movies, eat cinnamon life together, and she listens to all my late night rants. Animals are the best, it's a deep connection, and keeps those of us that don't like being alone feeling a little more secure with out constant companionship. Lately, she's been becoming more playful, and I'm excited to bring her around parties during the spring and summer months...LOOK OUT!!!

So went to Green Dolphin on Monday, got down with Mr. D-Skreet and Distortion. Some how Distortion took a nap at the club and D-skreet as always just smashed shit the entire time we were there. That guy knows dancing :D You should come check out our workshop this weekend (Click here for info)

Tuesday night is my weekly open mic I've been trying to get off the ground at Jimmy's Grill in down town Naperville. Once again the weather that day doesn't cooperate that well but i take it in stride. Get a little drunk, talk a lot of shit, swap some words with Robyn at the bar, and promise her that one week will have people here for her to present to. I do some writing and reflect on just what it is I keep getting chin checked for.

Wednesday was just a murderous cluster fuck, driving about, picking people up, dropping people off. Cooking large amounts of food at AwesomeHq and seeing the nastiest bruise I done did ever see in my life. You think holla hooping is all fun and games, a great way to work out your body...THINK AGAIN!!! ask Emily, she'll tell you the dangers involved.

Thursday is some karaoke, QUEEN, Don't stop me now and a few whiskeys. I love people watching at bars but what I really love is when the people watchers catch me people watching and there like...."What the fuck is he doing with his fingers" I usually build them a picture, then spin it round in 3D, light the bitch on fire, and do it all over again until they can properly get it.

We finally...FINALLY...Slide into the weekend!!! Just found out Tommy is going to get rich and get some lobbyist to extend the weekend indefinitely. I'm going to throw some loot into this pipe dream as well because they just keep getting better and better.

Friday night I have my Dubstep intern Kevin, his sweetly cynical friend Turtle, and the 1/2 man 1/2 machine Distortion all sitting around a table sweat shop style. Were making labels for bit[c]rush mixes, burning CD's, and answering the question..."what is reality" I love that one...few have an answer that satisfies my brain box but Kevin's buddy keeps up pace and we agree to disagree in the end. We crank out a shit ton of CD's and listen to some great tunes. Soonish Randy comes home and I'm given the dopest tie I do belive I've ever been given...This is mostly because I don't think ne one has given me a tie but also because it's this sick ass orange tie with an amazing pattern. I'm a happy boy and even happier when he informs me the Lucy can kick it with me now whenever I'd like. I begin to ponder all the good her and I will do together and who knows the wonders will soon see.

The sweat shop and I roll out to Cafe Lura @ 9 to catch the open bar and some dank dubstep. I slam 3 drinks like whoa! I get to jam on the microphone for a quick second and shout out Dottcoms night tomorrow, as well as kick a quick verse with Mr. Nameloc. We then dip out this free source party at the blackhole and the night comes to a screeching hault. Her name is Brittney but most people know her as Sunshine. She's an amazing women, breath of fresh air, and probably could kick the shit out of your biggest friends. Our flirting is on par to smash all previous records this evening and she smells like a comfort long forgotten. This girl and I always have a great time, she helps me pass out flyers for the biggie of a party I'm helping with the day after. Kevin, Turtle, myself and Ms. Sunshine leave the party cracking the fuck up at the Hardstyle that was being bumped at what was suppose to be the peak of the night there.

I take Turtle and the most baddest assed chess wizard intern you've never done seen to the "hostile" and then Sunshine and I head back to AwesomeHQ. As were leaving the hostile this car drives by us and there are like 8 "Juggernaut" flyers stuck to it and I crack the fuck up. Frisby is a monster when it comes to bombing parking lots.

Back @ HQ we smoke some pots, do some dances but all to soon it's pass out time. She smells great and we take turns being the big spoon...I think she's way better at it then me.

...Then the morning comes...

I have to drive her to a friends way the way south, then fight my way back to HQ, grab my buddy joe, wrangle up Distortion, and make it to the congress by 3:00. I get there on the button sporting 4 pizzas and a couple of 2liters. I figure these guys have already been working and have not bothered to stop for some lunch. Sure enough they are about half way done with setting up the lighting rig and are pretty happy to get some food in there bellies. HOLY HELL...the amount of planning and time that went into this set up. We just kept rolling in speakers and then I'd glance up at the stage and there would be some new dopeness attached to what was shaping up to be the best light display I'd ever seen at a rave (if you called it a concert your a fucking tool). We get our booth set up, all the sound in the doors, and the panic begins. We have only a few more hours till the destruction finally arrives.

I get dismissed from the venue by Bob and told that I need to be back with everyone thats anyone by 8 p.m.

I start to head out to pick up Stephanie and her boyfriend DJ. As I'm leaving though I get told Mr. DJ is stranded in the loop and I think this a perfect opportunity to really get to know the dude my friend is attaching herself to slowly but surely. I pick him up, he hops in my ride and I frantically start driving about the loop looking for a way to cut through all the BS happening on 90/94. I end up taking a few wrong turns but then steer us clear and it's a straight shot to the SledgeWhich.

He's a nice guy, seems to speak from the heart, and it's funny how our stories over lap. He actually starts asking me questions which is good because I need a distraction from the turmoil tumbling around in my head. I give him much to much ammunition but he seems like the cavalier hopefully I'm in the clear. I get some background on him and his current couch surfing adventures...soonish we pull up to Vanessa's house. Steph comes down and Nessa follows and gives me the saddest eyes ever through the door. I run up and say...

"Ya know I love you right." She replies "No you don't" and I say "Oh like any of this would be happening right now if it wasn't for you." and there is a slight look of relief that creeps over her brow. I can still sense tension so I ask steph whats wrong, it's pretty simple, she feels left out tonight...So I...Already on a time crunch, tell her to hurry up pack everything up and if I have to pay for her (i'm only suppose to bring two people with) then I will but I can't stand seeing that pouting face from the door.

We pile in my silver streaking and head back to where destruction will begin in about an hours time. I speed, swerve from lane to lane with ease, and I'm so tense I actually have a Cig. This amuses her, her smile is long and stretching like the skyline coming into view. I watch those two in the back and feel something I never knew.

@ the congress, construction is complete and they are running through sound checks. The stage is just sick, the lighting rig is intimidating, and the gang is all starting to take their positions. Rick and Bob are running round just frothing from there talk boxes. It's always funny to watch promoters run about the venue before doors open. There is so much "oh shit" going on, I just stay clear and help where I can.

We get Joe set up and I introduce him to Lucy properly, then I give my co-workers something to enhance there night as well, and then I slip into my suit. I practice my verse a few times in the bathroom back stage and by the 2nd go round I know I've got it. I'm so thankful to have a friend like Mr. Crush and I've been practicing real hard to make sure and not spoil this opportunity he's giving me.

Please go to for a full review of Juggernaut. I'll give you my brief blurbed bellow but I'd say get the full review from all peoples that were there. Plus there is a ton of video flying around and way to many pictures.

Funsize got it started right and rocked it like a champ for his set. I did my best to get people up and off the wall for him and towards the end we had a nice group of people up and dancing. He's a great guy and constantly picking up the slack in our underground scene. Bit[c]rush came out slanging new tracks, remixing old ones with new ones, and left me just enough time to bust off a fat ass verse I had been working on. He got a great crowd response and the massif grows stronger. Synthetic Pulse came up and did his thing and he had brought an amazing cheering section with him. DJ f8less...uhhh...had technical difficulties or something, don't really know. THEOmuthafuckingG greased up the dance floor and had people slamming about for a solid hour. He was perched up having a great time and it was pretty easy to see that he was more then pleased with the response he was getting...WTF dropping some drum&bass right in the middle of his set :D

I had to dip out towards the end of Theo's set to walk a 1/2 block to meet up with Mr.Crush, Mr. Com, and the dynamic duo of Kevin & Turtle. I got to flirt with this amazing bartender, kick some rhymes, spread the good word, high five with some good folks, and watch my friend drop some sick sick tracks (thanks for that Beats track). I grab some of Dotty's new mixes and I head back over to catch the middle of PLASTICFANGS set. This is a collaboration between tolgar & pm and like they said bad intentions all over it. Easily the most enjoyable show to watch through out the evening. These two poured out a lot of energy and played a huge variety of music. The light rig came to life and started moving vaporizing kids all through out the crowd. Keith Mack the breaks mack dropped this SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCK remix of an old drum&bass track "Drowning". Heavygrinder just got filthy and put the remaining moments of the party into a frenzy with some dirty ass electro.

If you want there music go here...
...those are the only ones I could find at the moment.

These guys came through and really put together a nice show...good variety of music and YEAH tons of energy to match the epic light show going on behind them the entire time.

We ended up raising a nice little chunk of money for our conference. Our friend Joe ended up getting some really good exposure for himself and Gabby gets a beautiful painting to stare at FOREVER. AHAHhaHA lot's of win going on at the party and even more win in the hours that followed. My favorite part was trying to get Theo and Yolanda to jack with me in this open area of the congress. It really just turned into me slamming around and almost breaking my next to some good tunes :D I love my friends and love the fact that they put up with me being a spazz all the time.

We head back to AwesomeHQ all our effects in hand. I end up making out with lucy at a really strange way to way to late but I did it the weekend before so...hmmm, I just wanted to try it out and gather my brain as everyone else would surely be puttering out sooner then me.
Pizzadillas, The Green Room packed with bodies, Floasis family in full effect minus one, to many new people twiddling there fingers, kitties everywhere, lots of orange juice, Matt and Sheesh, poetry, mindless rantings, ton's of laughter, great chunes, and the merging of many good people on the end of a great night. This is my rave family and I love them more then anything. We cook for one another, listen and help, and yeah, I don't know, we just genuinely care about the goings onz in everyones life that puts in quality time around the house.

Nessa, Steph, and DJ had an amazing trip and started to wind down. I got to watch DJ get defeated by a rubix cube and it was almost as funny as watching tommy pretend to not pass out. Everyone eventually sleeps and I'm left to the madness of my mind.

They are curled up under my sleeping bag looking like everything I'd ever hoped to of known. Comfort, friendly, warmth, a new cycle starting fresh, spinning in whatever direction it might, contentment, and dare i say the early stages of love.

See, for some of you reading this, that word is a scary thing and maybe you don't believe that there is more then one way to express it. I on the other hand enjoy watching it in all it's various stages. That girl deserves the world and while I'm in it, I'll do all I can to make sure she has it. While they sleep I stuff simba in my back seat for a final surprise to her. He was suppose to be my cat, HE'S ORANGE, and GORGEOUS...just amazing!!! He makes her soooo happy too...seemed like the right thing to do and it got done. Now she texts me from time to time to tell me what he's doing, those texts always make me a happy man.

I had to leave a lot of the heartbreak out of this post because I told her I would. I wrote it down in other places, for private eyes and what have you. The month soldiers on and I live to like to write about it as it comes. I couldn't be happier with how the weekend turned out. That party was AMAZING it brought me back to when I was young, way wilder, and constantly dazzled by those pretty lights.

RICK AND BOB I LOVE YOU...Can't wait to help with LightItUp3. Thanks for bringing back the other side of raves in Chicago that have been gone for much to much to long. My sword is yours for as long as you need it...I don't rep one crew. I'm one man on a single mission, to bring more unity to our very scattered underground scene and then use that unity to put on an amazing international dance conference. Sure could use some help...what do you say?


  1. Frisby is a monster when it comes to bombing parking lots.

  2. "and she smells like a comfort long forgotten."

    "her smile is long and stretching like the skyline coming into view. I watch those two in the back and feel something I never knew."

    my favorite lines ;D

  3. best post ive read joke. an entertaining heartfelt mess.