Saturday, November 20, 2010

All I wanted to do was dance...


This past week has been a disaster in so many ways...
I get this job, from out of no where, and I'm thinking blessing. Not more then 2 hours into my first training shift do I become fully aware that it is anything but. Sooooooooooo, days pass by and I go through what is the worst training at a job ever. Talking about...

Let's send him home with a bunch of paper work and none of the proper pamphlets to fill them out with. At one point they sent me home with this mini book that was suppose to give me answers on menus items. Yeah, I get home, and it's in fucking SPANISH! It was almost like they were looking back on the last two years of my life and saying..."Bet you wish you'd of took that two semesters of Spanish a little more serious buddy." From the trainers that just don't care to the managers that are more worried about saving hours then properly training someone, I find myself at the end.

My last training SHIFT!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! It's friday night and whoa damn slow, I mean short bus slow, and then from out of no where I get this thought. If for some reason I can get out of here early tonight, I might be able to snag a ride and get down with some dancers this evening. I've been living here for a week now and completely isolated from most forms of human contact. More so then toking the occasional pot, dropping the hilarious acids, I find myself craving that semi circle of like minded pears that express themselves through motions. So, I start to tug the strings that I know will get me cut, and about 8:30 I'm handed my final test. The kicker, I have to clock out and take this behemoth before I can exit the building. If my counting is correct they already have me down for about 2hrs off the clock in this building, and I'm left wondering...will this be a trend? So I get to the task at hand and at some point I become extremely tired of playing by their rules. I start talking with the other servers, FOH (front of house), and cooks...only to find...most people don't fucking know either.

This leads me to take my test into that bathroom, with my pre test, and begin forging away at my freedom. MWUahahhHAHAHHAhahHA! I don't feel bad since they gave me the proper documents to complete everything four days prior and have really done a piss poor job training me overall. So I hand my completed test to Jay, he looks a lot like the team lead from "party down" season one (acts like it to in a lot of ways), and skip out the door bumping Blue scholars! Unhinge the bike and bolt home, my hope is to get home, and get in touch with one of the few peeps I know down here and snag a ride to get down town. I fail on so many levels...I sit...Grey Anatomy taunting me in my face! FUCK! Man, i got the itch, and part of me just wants to steal my fathers car, Smash on these local cats and scoot back before anyone is any the wiser.

Sadly, I get dressed, get back on that bike, and cruise out into the crisp Florida winter air. The sky is largely illuminated by the moon and the past two years of psychedelics. It's beautiful, I put on the Trio and head to this bar...They call it linksters. Page gets me drunk, I attempt to make small talk but start failing once I find something to write about in my little white book. I pump 5bucks into the jukebox and my plays go unnoticed. I'm alone! Marooned! This is all my doing though and in the mirror across from me I remind myself of that as I wiggle my fingers. Looking sharp, Cheddar like...Cheddar is the sharpest of all cheeses fools.

Curtis Mayfield
Rage Against the Machine
Lupe Fiasco
Violent Femmes

All while the Bulls barely eek by a win over Dallas. Page made me a delicious potion that further dropped me into the realm of seclusion and before I know it I'm paying my tab and unlocking my bike. I ride around...and find myself to this other little bar a few block from my I take a break to rant...

My father upon moving into his house made me sign an agreement to not take any substances without a prescription. So it's not about bringing drugs into his house or even coming home under the influence. It's more about not having those toxins in my system while I call his home my home. It's completely alright for me to go ride around town, rack up 20dollars in charges via various bars, get wasted, destroy my liver, and slither my ways back home. I don't know that I understand this logic...ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS DANCE! Yet, whatevers, I'm extremely grateful for the opportunity I have before me this year and with my eye on the prize I know all objectives can be reached. I just want to smoke a little weed and boogey :)

So I sit at this bar and I go from tipsy to drunk, Dessa sings to me, and helps me piece together the last 10 months of my life. I scribble with a mad fury and I will say the best part about drinking again is the haste it gives my PEN. I breeze through the last few pages of a book I got for my bday...I put an extremely important chapter to rest and peace the fuck out of another establishment. As I leave I watch the happy little dance going on and wonder if I can somehow re-insert myself into that human equation again....doubtful...but it'll be fun trying.

I ride down a few blocks, find a parking lot, park my bike, and proceed to bust the fuck down & OUT! Some FLUX, Beats, Heyoka, and I barely break a sweat because of this amazing climate I'm surrounded by. I feel great! Definitely still buzzing from the cocktails I purchased and I got to unload some much needed dance tension. I check my reflection in the glass of this Lutheran Church and can only describe myself as satisfied. I scurry home and can't wait to sit in front of these keys for another hour or so.

Angsty "strung out" blares through the head phones and I put it all down...Read it...dismiss it...fuck it! I can't wait to look back on it 3 years from now. Because I'm digging this thing called life and living it the best way I can. I'm established at my job now, so now I begin making real money, I think I've learned the lay of the land I'm currently calling home, and I've battled the worst forms of regret this week. All n All...I'm thinking things are good...hope you are thinking the same. PEACE FRIENDS!

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