Thursday, January 21, 2010

In and out of intentions

Every women I've ever wanted to love me has labeled me to much
The jobs I've hoped for have been called fruitless, unrealistic, and unobtainable
This little boy leaks from his eyes a million mistaken decisions
The safe route has swallowed him completely
& Spit him into a world where freedom & responsibility sodomize the better 1/2 of a dying breed
Ice in the middle of July & we aren't in the arctic
Locked up somewhere tight inside
are the tools to make this alright
Mom & Dad
Couldn't you just have faked husband & wife
Were you two ever really friends
is it any surprise I'm always torn
Always moving around just in time to fuck it up again & again
excuse me my friends
I know somewhere you'd of hoped I'd of figured it out by now
I stand a top rooftops & sing loud to clouds
Lose myself amongst the heard
swimming to & through a crowd
This beaming blue eyed boy never wanted anything but to be loved on his own terms
by someone smart enough to make him swallow his own words
Gotten groveling gone an overcooked goose
I'm running out of room & selling everything I have
hearing its all part of a greater plan
This is where blunt honest gets you
This is what walking blindfolded through a mine field feels like
I wake up six years old in a cold sweat with this haunting feeling of I'm not even there yet
Lucid dreaming for lepers
Please hold the feta cheese, onions, sushi & all forms of peppers
My digestive track can't take the relapse
Caught with no real purpose
Something like a police officer forced to write loitering tickets
I'm everything nothing hoped one night might be
Two years in the making
730 days
I'd write down the seconds the minutes but the time ticks to fast for me to keep up with
Another break down
Climb back to be king of the hill
Not long till I'm dethroned & start this trek all over again
I'm a pasty perfect specimen
Of what happens when ya don't learn the lessons
To the young men setting out to grab life by the horns
Love, let go & learn to love some more
If that doesn't work dabble in porn
To the young ladies getting ready to further the next generation
Choose wisely
I've seen it, I've lived it with moves to come
I still eat most things ketchup only
I'm still struggling with being lonely
I still feel the need to prove you don't & won't ever know me
Love my grandma, the looks I get when I dance
& the fact that tomorrows a new chance... do what depends on YOU!

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